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Sold out: Sir and sellotape

Submitted by on July 29, 2010 – 1:05 pmOne Comment

There's no doubt about that

The urban dictionary is a decent site – if you ever get a few minutes and want to get with the hip young generation and find out what ‘macca’ and other modern youth terms mean, give it a visit.

It works in a similar way to a dictionary, surprisingly given the site’s title, and has definitions for many words and phrases used in contemporary dialogue. It has a definition for the phrase ‘sell out’. It says: “One who betrays a cause for personal advancement. The popular definition of sell out allows it to be used as an insult towards anyone in show business.”

It then goes on to say Green Day weren’t a sell out just because they claimed to be a punk band, yet towed the MTV line. The justification being that they never said they wouldn’t play on MTV, therefore they didn’t sell out by whoring themselves about on the Murdoch-centric satellite channel.

It doesn’t mention knight of the realm Sir Alex Ferguson, but perhaps it should. The man claimed to be a socialist, yet accepted a knighthood. Urban dictionary may argue he never said he wouldn’t accept a knighthood, but by being a self-proclaimed socialist, by definition he shouldn’t have a accepted his knighthood. Therefore, in many people’s minds, he is a sell out.

Success makes a hypocrite of a man, and SIR Alex is no exception. From the moment he accepted that knighthood he was ‘sold’ and there’s been no halting the wholesale abandonment of principle he has excelled in ever since.

Once again he is quoted today brown-nosing the Glazer family and praising their ownership of Manchester United Football Club. Gone are the days when your heart would sink at reading such tripe and that is a bad reflection on Sir Al. Fans now expect him to be the whipping boy, the Glazers’ little helper, friend to businessmen and dismisser of supporter campaigns.

I hope he gets a visit from the three ghosts next Christmas and is taken back to the days he was a shop steward on the Clyde or wherever (our resident statistician will no doubt correct me on the exact location). Or the time he drove around the roughest estates while manager at St Mirren (stat-man will no doubt point out the correct club) in his car with a loud hailer trying to cajole the locals into watching his team. Or the time he said that supporters have the right to a say in their football clubs.

I hope he is haunted and on his gravestone when the ghost of things to come points to his grave it says ‘I-cum-fi-govan-burra-fucked-off-a-long-time-ago’ (cheers to Stuart Brennan for the concept).

On other matters, I went to a stationery shop in the backward Cheshire town I now work in and on the shelf where it said ‘sellotape’ was a big sign, which read ‘Due to demand, we have sold out of this product and are awaiting a new delivery’. There must be a proliferation of things falling apart in this area, or the people are overly keen on arts and crafts. Or maybe a very popular person in the locality is celebrating a birthday. Or their ‘shoeboxes for heroes’ campaign is booming. Superman can’t wait for the postie to come.

From the Chadderton Evening Chronicle (sponsored by Union Busters: Making people redundant as often as possible):

SIR Alex Ferguson has risked the fury of Manchester United fans by backing the Glazers.

The Reds boss insists criticism of the controversial Florida owners is unfair and says he has “no complaints” over their Old Trafford regime.

Supporters furious about the debt that has been laden on United since their takeover in 2005 are desperate to drive the Glazer family out and blame them for ticket price rises and the recent transfer activity.

Fan-led consortium, the Red Knights, have tried to wrest control from the Americans while United have been forced to put 4,000 unsold tickets on sale.

But Ferguson, whose refusal to criticise the Glazers has already angered supporters, has now jumped to the defence of the owners.

“I have to say they’ve done their job well,” he said. “They’ve supported me and they’ve supported the players.

“I’ve never been refused when I’ve asked for money for a player so what can I do other than carry on the way we’re doing it and I’m allowed to carry on? I’ve no complaints.”

Ferguson’s comments are sure to infuriate fans whose disillusionment has only intensified since figures released this year showed United to be in debt to the tune of around £700m.

The failure to make a marquee signing since the departures of Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez has only fuelled the fire on the terraces with the green and gold campaign gathering pace during last season.

But Ferguson said: “The debt has come through the club being bought out by an owner. No matter which business is bought out now, it is usually bought with debt.

“Because Manchester United is a football club it seems to attract a different type of negative reporting through the media or with some of our fans.

“When United became a PLC, without doubt it was always going to be bought out. When it went PLC somebody was going to buy it, so it was inevitable.

“It is unfair that when a particular family, the Glazers, have bought it, they should come under criticism because anybody could have bought it.”

Meanwhile, Salford bookie Fred Done has revealed he has been approached on three occasions to join the Red Knights but does not want to be part of the 40-50-strong consortium of money men.

He believes the Glazers may eventually lose control of the club to the banks and warns that rivals City are on the verge of ruling the Premier League.

He said: “I love United but I believe there is no money in the club.

“You hear noises that the money is there to spend but let the Glazers prove it by getting their chequebook out. Either they won’t or they can’t.

“The financial future is in jeopardy. Season tickets are on open sale. My prediction is that the banks will come in and take it off the Glazers.”

The Red Knights, meanwhile, still maintain a hope of forcing the Glazers to sell.

One Comment »

  • jstand says:

    Unsold season tickets. ‘Red Knights’. Fred Done quotes popping up left right and centre. city tipped to win the league. Imagine getting hit over the head in 2004 and only waking up this week, you’d think you were still asleep.

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