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CYCM 30/11/13: Naughty, Naughty, Very Naughty

Submitted by on November 26, 2013 – 3:34 pmNo Comment


Have you ever seen those shows on TV that list the top moments from a certain era? They’re usually on Channel Five and have people like Janet Street Porter or Zig and Zag reminiscing. It doesn’t make for good viewing, unless a celebrity accidentally letting off on a reality show is your idea of a ‘top moment’. Now as much as we all love to laugh at a good trump, it’s hardly what you’d call decent television. Criminally, these shows also refer to the years following 1999 as ‘The Noughties’.  What’s that all about? It’s like there was this desperate need to give these years a trendy title, and that’s all they could come up with. There are much better uses (and spellings) of the word, like ‘The Naughtys’ for a start, as you’ll find out in due course….


At Course You Can Malcolm, we’ve not got time for list shows, or Janet Street Porter for that matter. Blythe Danner Mum of Gwyneth Paltrow Spartans are in town, meaning there’s football to be played and Malcolms to be Malcolmsed. The Malcolmsising will happen in the usual Malcolms fashion:

10:30 The Oddies put up enough flags to make you think you’re on the Südtribüne (you’ll get that reference if you’re proper AMF and into your Bundesliga, with its safe standing and cheaper-than-chips tickets)

11:30 Meatballs? Balls to meat more like, as Mike Noodles brings the veggie pizza and ultra- limited edition veggie hotdogs

12:00 Doors open

12:15 Bringing the cheese and onion pies and tater ‘ash, Dave Frilly purposely spills a smidgeon of gravy onto his seat to keep the smell of Westwells in his car all week. If you see him, call him gravy pants

2:00 Taking You Round The Corner- You’ll be Blyth-ly lied to again and again, but there’ll be one truth hidden away in there. Somewhere

2:30 The Naughtys- see below

3:00 The players representing our co-operatively owned club take to the pitch. Just try to ignore the high number of day-glo boots on show….

3:45 It’s Bury, it’ll be dark and cold, so it’ll be back to ours for further sustenance, beery or otherwise


Fancy a bit of punk before your football this Saturday? How about ska too? If you do, then you’re going to love fantastic Stretford band The Naughtys. Manchestermusic.co.uk had this to say about them: “The Naughtys are turning heads and it’s even more rewarding to report that this hugely different band are even better than their demo, live. Definitely ones to watch”

They’ll be bringing their high energy set to Malcolms for a second time this Saturday. Whether or not they’ll be naughty remains to be seen, but if the below photo is anything to go by, there could well be shenanigans afoot. Let’s just hope they paid for those light bulbs, the cheeky scamps.

The Naughtys

For more information on the band, you can have a ganders at Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Youtube and on their website.

There’ll also be more lies than Plebgate with another exciting round of Taking You Round The Corner. It’s harder than Pointless, but less scary than facing that big chaser off The Chase. You’ll probably be perplexed, but you won’t feel intimidated, something we like to avoid at CYCM if we can help it, especially if you’re feeling a bit queasy about being in Bury.

As well as all this there’ll be the usual sororal and fraternal sense of unity and love in the air, in a way that only happens when Red, Mancunian dreamers dream their daft dreams. Come and dream away a Saturday afternoon with us, you daft beggars.

14 and counting…..


Update:  Listen right, not only have you got all this to look forward to on Saturday, but we’ve  also got psychedelic, indie-pop band Violet Class performing an acoustic set as well. Don’t say we never spoil you, because clearly we do. And we love doing it, to be honest. Have a look at their website www.violetclass.com for more info. Smart or what?

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