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CYCM 24/08/19: When the Seadogs Follow the Footballer(s)

Submitted by on August 20, 2019 – 6:04 pmNo Comment

There was an interesting news story (if you’re that way inclined) on the telly the other day about the increasing voracity of seagulls. It appears these mainstays of seaside resorts are getting cockier and narkier, with incidents of aggressive swooping on beach goers’ chip-laden forks increasing ten-fold. What’s turned these previously amiable but cheeky pier-dwelling characters into today’s winged louts remains unknown, but that hasn’t stopped a number of theories being put forward, including trans fat addiction, social media, and an increasing concern at the prospect of a no deal Brexit. LUIS DIAZ DEVESAGETTY IMAGESLet’s be honest though: that’s probably a load of old bobbins and nowhere near the mark. Here at CYCM towers, however, we have our own theory, and despite having no proof to back it up, we reckon we’ve beaten the so-called ‘experts’ to it and nailed it ourselves. The real reason they’ve got such a cob-on? Jealousy. That’s right, these airborne bullies are clearly afflicted with envy, as while they’re not getting the chance to enjoy live music and a game of football this Saturday, their fellow sea-side dwellers, the Seadogs, are. And they’re livid about it.

You can’t really blame the poor buggers, though. While they’re stuck waiting for the opportunity to divebomb an unsuspecting toddler carrying a Mr. Whippy, the Seadogs (or, Scarborough Athletic as they’re more commonly known) are off to Broadhurst Park, with the chance to listen to the blistering tunes of ace indie band, Plain Navy. Seadogs 1 – Seagulls 0.

Of course, music isn’t the only thing in store, as you’ll find out if you read on:

11:00 The Oddies Arrive: High on that most common of football drugs, early season optimism, the Oddies turn up with a spring in their step, and a twinkle in their eye. How long it’ll last remains to be seen ….

1:00 Doors Open: If you’re not all queuing up outside, ready to run in like it’s a Boxing day sale when we open the doors, you’re not just letting us down, you’re letting yourselves down (kidding. You’re just letting yourselves down)

1:30 Quiz: Get memorising the 72 verses of Scarborough Fair because Karl’s fiendish quiz on themes linked to our opponents is back

1.50 Oliver James Lomax: Oliver is a 35 year old poet from Bolton but don’t panic as he is now based in Manchester.  He has written a poem about the 53 Trees of the Western Road in Sheffield which featured on the One Show, and has been poet in residence at the Dylan Thomas Birthplace in Swansea, no pressure there Oliver.  If his poem entitled simply ‘Peterloo’ doesn’t make you simultaneously want to cry and to go on a protest march of today, we’ll be very surprised

2:20 Plain Navy: Indie music from our old friends (see below)

3:00 We take the ‘formerly the Evostik, but now the Bet Victor NPL’ by storm: Hopefully

Plan Navy pic

We’re delighted to welcome back to CYCM one of Manchester’s finest emerging young live bands: Plain Navy. They describe themselves as “a five piece indie rock band from Manchester with huge choruses, amazing riffs and brilliant lyrics”, and after seeing them play for us last year at the Chadderton game, it’s hard to disagree. They’re influenced by the likes of Oasis, the Libertines and the Arctic Monkeys and, just as they said when they last appeared for us, they’ll play “a set full of our own songs that we believe are timeless tunes”. They’ve previously played Club Academy, sold out their own gig at Hive and headlined the Emerging Indie Festival, so it’s clear they’re destined for big things. We think you’ll like them. And we’re not wrong that often.

For a flavour of what the band are all about, have a shufty here.

Away from the bright(ish) lights of the stage, there’ll be the usual selection of ales and non-alcoholic beverages, but sadly, we’ll be tater hash and cheese onion pie-less this week, due to Westwells taking a well earned break. Worry not though, as we’ll have some home made alternatives to keep everyone’s bellies rumble free. There are rumours that blackberries have been picked in Salford in order to produce Muffins With Attitude, for instance…

So now you know what’s on, the question is, do you fancy it? If you’ve spent the summer pining for live music, home cooked food, a warm feeling of belonging in your chest (not to be confused with heartburn), and Stu From The Bay’s food ladling skills, then you know where to go this Saturday. We might not be the Royal Variety Show, but if we were, it’d probably be terrible, so we’ll stick to what we do best instead: giving you an alternative to staring at Sky Sports News on a big screen with a warm pint in your hand. Come along, you know it makes sense…

Love is the licensee: If it’s your first time at Malcolms, or you’ve developed amnesia since we were last on, then you’ll find us in the St. Mary’s Road End. Once you’re through the turnstiles, go underneath the terracing, and walk down until you see a whopping big stage, badly affixed flags, and slightly disheveled looking volunteers. If there’s also a lovely whiff of food in the air, then you’ll know you’re in the right place. Entrance to CYCM is completely freemans, with the usual rules applying: no divviness, weapons of mass destruction or anyone wearing brogues with trackie bottoms. Refugees welcome.

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