GLAZER’S KEEN & BOLD ON GREEN & GOLD!
Controversial Manchester United owners the Glaziers are to boldly ditch the club’s traditional red and white colours for the green and gold currently being sported by the very fans that are opposing them.
Keen to curry favour with fans disgruntled with the amount of debt they have burdened United with, the American custodians are to put their Red Devils on the pitch next season in a curry and coriander coloured kit that is sure to add extra spice to the already red-hot topic of football club ownership.
A Floridian source told us “the Glayser family are not idiots, they are successful businessmen who know business and they know more than anyone that they are not the best owners in the world, but hey we can’t all be Abromovich or those Arab guys. This is their way of saying to the fans, hey we’re with you, we don’t like the debt either guys, we wish we could buy stuff without credit too!”
Although head of the family Malcolm couldn’t be at Wembley for the Carling Cup Final, sons Joel, Avram and Paul-Michael Glaser finally got to watch their team in the flesh and would have no doubt been impressed with the immense support for the campaign during their visit, where the famous venue was a sea of green and gold.
The move is bound to upset fan groups who not only will be irritated to see over 100 years of history cast aside, but are certain to see this as an attempt to neutralise the campaign. A spokesman for the Manchester United Supporters Trust (MUST) told us nothing but said he would e-mail us something later. However street-trader Eddie Twallop of Urmston told us “nothing is sacred with these yanks, they’re gonna put me out of business the way it’s going. Green and yeller’s bin putting food in my kids’ mouths these last few weeks but now everybody’s gonna be piling into the megastore for official gear.”
Meanwhile our Sunshine State source tried to reassure fans “the Glaisers are fans themselves, that’s why they’re taking this line. They’re not ready to walk away while there is still fruit on the Manchester tree.” And there is no need for the fans to worry about the change of home strip said the Glayzer spokesman. “It’s radical but the family have done their history homework and have chosen this strip because it was the strip worn by Manchester’s forefathers Norwitch Heath from Old Anglia”.