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OASIS CLEAN UP AT AFL MUSIC AWARDS

Submitted by on February 26, 2010 – 1:29 pm5 Comments

On the very same night that their beloved Manchester city left the Britannia Stadium empty-handed to confirm 34 potless years, massive, top, sorted, home and away, lifelong blues Liam and Noel Gallagher were also left trophyless at this year’s NME Awards.

Coincidence? No, they’re both shite and it seems NME’s readership might have finally realised that Oasis have been getting away with putting out piles of over-hyped recycled cock for nearly 20 years before they ended our misery and quit. Instead the readers probably voted for some other shit.

Frontman Liam who fooked off down to live in London as soon as they made a few bob, once complained that Old Trafford was “full of cockneys” (before he went to live amongst them), as he watched a city game from a corporate box with fellow musician and top blue Kevin Kennedy aka Corrie’s speccy borin’ boozy bin man Curly Twatts.

Liam not only has a passion for his ‘music’ but also his clobber and has recently launched his own clothing label “Pretty Green”, a move he saw as necessary cos he couldn’t find stuff out there that he would wear. Pretty Green sell a decent range of original stuff such as Parkas, Harrington jackets, roll neck sweaters, John Lennon style hats, pique polo shirts a bit like Fred Perry but not Fred Perry and loads of other stuff that you wouldn’t find out there in normal clothes shops.

Although Oasis will be happy with their recent Brit award, which Liam coolly tossed into the audience in a wild rock n roll kinda way (maybe he’d had so much cool drugs that he thought the award was Noel and they were back onstage in Toronto) before exiting the stage performing his ten-men silly walk that  puts John Cleese to shame, they’ll be secretly upset that they’ve not got a farewell send off from NME’s readers.

Not to worry Our Kid, A Fine Lung is thrilled to announce the proud proper Manc outfit can enjoy their retirement safe in the knowledge that they’ve wiped the board clean in our inaugural Shit Awards.

SHIT AWARDS 2010

sponsored by A Fine Lung

Results

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD BAD DIVS AWARD

Winner: Oasis

LIFELONG ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR CONSISTENTLY CHURNING OUT BIZ

Winner: Oasis

RELIEVING DICKHEADS OF THEIR MONEY AWARD

Winner: Oasis

UNPLANNED CROWD SURFING AWARD

Winner: Noel Gallagher

INSTANTLY CHANGING FROM SHITHOUSE TO TEN-MEN ONCE HIS SECURITY FIRM ARRIVE ONSTAGE

Winner: Liam Gallagher

We hope to hand over the awards once we can get Liam and Noel together with their bessie mate Tony Blair who we hope will make the presentation.

*any Lungers wishing to add their own Shit award to the list are welcome as long as Oasis win

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