Beauty Pageants

Home » Headline, Music

CYCM 01/03/14: Closer Each Day, Hulme and Away

Submitted by on February 25, 2014 – 8:17 pmNo Comment

If there’s one thing in life you can’t argue with, it’s facts. Well actually you can try, but you’ll never win. Facts, by their very nature are indisputable. They don’t deal in ‘maybes’ or ‘possiblys’ because maybes and possiblys aren’t facts. And if something is disputable, then it’s not a fact, is it?  It’s this iron-clad certainty that means I’m quite a big fan when it comes to facts. There are no vague, greyish areas and there’s never any misunderstandings. In fact, (no pun intended) I’ll share some with you now, and my chosen subject, Magnus, is the area of Manchester that goes by the name of Hulme:

1.  The name Hulme is derived from the Old Norse word for a small island, or land surrounded by water or marsh

2.   Hulme Hall was demolished in 1840 with the construction of the Bridgewater Canal

3.   Folk-pop singer, writer and this week’s turn Alex Hulme isn’t from Hulme, but Garstang in Lancashire

Which is a shame, really, because that would have fit in nicely. It’s also a shame he isn’t called Archie, as then we could have referred to him as Hulme, Archie. Ah well. What isn’t a shame though, is the fact that he’s playing for us this Saturday, and he’s something of a rather special talent.


As well as Alex, and continuing the theme of places in Greater Manchester, we’ve also got Droylsden coming to Gigg Lane. This means if I say anything derogatory about the place I might offend some of our own support as well as theirs, so while I mull over what I can say, have a read of the plan for the day:

10:30 The Oddies set up. You’d have thought a season of lugging gear up and down stairs would have resulted in huge muscles. You’d have thought wrong

11:30 While Mike Noodle may not want vegetarians of the world to unite and takeover, his veggie hotdogs and pizza are enough to bring even a smile to Morrissey’s face  

12:00 Doors open

12:15 Dave Frilly arrives with the tater ‘ash and cheese and onion pies from Westwells, then kicks himself when he realises he could have got Droylsden to nip across to Openshaw and bring it with them on their coach

2:00 Taking You Round The Corner- Facts are definitely in the minority here

2:20 Alex Hulme- see below

3:00 Out you go, to watch us play a team that incidentally, haven’t won all season. Oh here we go…

3:45 What are you doing standing around in Bury in winter for 45 minutes? Get back inside for nourishment, you daft sods

It’s always nice to get praise, but when it’s Paul McCartney and Billy Ocean telling you how good you are, then you know you’re probably on to something.  “A wonderful song and a wonderful Melody”, and “A great voice and a great understanding for melody” were how they described Alex Hulme after seeing him play. If that wasn’t enough for this folk-pop singer, last year he supported Willy Mason, Willis Earl Beal, Emmy the Great and The Proclaimers, and his latest single ‘Climb’ has been produced by Richard Woodcraft, a man who’s worked with more famous names than Phil Jones has pulled daft faces.

Alex Hulme

So after doing all that, where does he go from here? Well, he plays at CYCM this Saturday for a start, so if the prospect of a folk singing, loop making maestro dazzling you with his vocal talents sounds enticing, then you know exactly where we are. Of course, if you can’t wait until then, visit his website here and have a look at his Facebook and Twitter stuff for more details.

Before Alex does his thing though, there’s another edition of Taking You Round The Corner to be had, where last week we finally saw the birdhouse won in dramatic, tie-breaking fashion. Its winner subsequently sold it on to someone who needed a birthday present for his wife, and to fund his massive Elizabeth D. Svendsen obsession. It was a beautiful ending to the story of the birdhouse; one that made us laugh, cry, and believe in the joyous beauty of life once again. Rumours the house was purposely built with one room to thwart the government slapping the birds with the bedroom tax however, are sadly true.

The birdhouse being sold. Faces have been changed to Phil Jones' to protect identities

The birdhouse being sold. Faces have been changed to protect identities

Still, there’s plenty of gifts left over for this week’s quiz, so if you fancy yourself as a bit of a Droylsden expert, then get involved. You know you want to, you salacious, prize hungry animals.

On top of all this, Stu From The Bay is back once again with his market stall. As well as the usual hats, t-shirts, AFLs and books, there may still be some homemade FC chutney left. I say may; I don’t know if they sold out last time and I can’t be bothered checking, so just think of the buzz of anticipation you’ll feel as you climb those Starkies steps, not knowing one way or another until you get there….

Course You Can Malcolm: home of the dreamers, the ne’er do wells, the political, the downtrodden and the downright odd. We don’t have much, but what we do have is worth more than all the hedgefunds in the world. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Seventh heaven and all that….


Leave a comment!

You must be logged in to post a comment.