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CYCM 16/11/13: Meat (Pie) Goes On

Submitted by on November 11, 2013 – 9:44 pmNo Comment

Breaking Bad
It seems Grantham have it in for Frickley. Not only did the town give the world Margaret Thatcher, a woman who decimated many a Yorkshire mining community, but their football team think they’re dead clever for still being in the FA trophy, too. This of course means they couldn’t play us in the league this Saturday, with Frickley having to take their spot instead. Their plans to have a quiet weekend in watching Breaking Bad, because their mates have been banging on about how good it is, are out of the window. Poor old Frickley face a cold, crystal meth-less November afternoon in Bury instead….

Of course, none of this matters one jot to us. We were going to be here either way, and in the magical world of Course You Can Malcolm, league bureaucracy holds little interest for the Oddies and Malcs regulars alike. This particular Saturday’s magical mystery tour (actually it’s not a mystery at all, as you’re about to find out what’s happening) will be making the following stops:

10:30 The Early Bird Oddies try to outdo each other for the ‘who can shift the heaviest thing upstairs with the least amount of muscles’ award

11:30 Mike Noodles stares the meat industry in the face, and dazzles it with veggie pizza and his ultra rare, much sought after, veggie hot dogs

12:00 Doors open

12:15 Dave Frilly tries out a new air freshener for his car. ‘Whiff of Westwells’, a rare and exotic aromatic treat, fills the nostrils of all who travel with him when he brings the tater ‘ash and cheese and onion pies

2:00 Taking You Round The Corner: what’s true and what’s false? At this stage it’s Frickley confidential….

2:30 El Gazelle (have a shufty below)

3:00 The teams make their way out, as away fans and locals gawp at easily the most dapper manager non-league football has ever seen

3:45 Doors open again, and the ‘we-only-do-halftime’-ers swell the numbers and FC’s coffers

El Gazelle

This Saturday’s musical treat is exceptionally treaty in it’s treatiness. Psychedelic, garage rock band El Gazelle will be providing the music, in what is their second time at Malcolms following an appearance in 2008. Back then the bands played where the drinks and food are now served, so if you see them and they appear a little disoriented, take a moment, stop what you’re doing and point them in the right direction. You’ll be glad you did that though, especially when they belt out such songs as ‘Beat Goes On’, their debut single released this summer.

Beat Goes On

If you want to find out more about the band, they’re on BoatRacebook and Twitters, have a few songs on Soundcloud , and recently did an interview with Mancunian Matters which you can read here.

As well as the usual Pinocchio nose inducing silliness of Taking You Round The Corner, we’ll also be selling the latest issue of A Fine Lung and taking orders for the new AFL t-shirt. CYCM’s resident Welshman, Stu From The Bay (or SFTB as us cool kids like to call him) will be taking the orders, but we’ll give you the full details on Saturday. Bearing in mind this is a man who recently admitted it was his boyhood dream to own a laminator, make sure you tell him how good the laminated posters dotted around Malcs are. Not only will this ensure your order is placed correctly, but you’ll be fulfilling one man’s dreams of being the greatest laminator Colwyn Bay has ever known.


Music, food, ale, lies, truth, t-shirts, fanzines and lamination; it’s all happening this Saturday from 12. Free yourself from the shackles of everyday life and join your Red brothers and sisters for an afternoon of ‘we’re getting our own ground’ giddiness. We’ll do right by you.

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