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Course You Can Malcolm: A class act

Submitted by on April 17, 2013 – 1:33 amNo Comment

Class Actions

In celebration of Youth United Day, Course You Can Malcolm will host traditional children’s party games, with some ace prizes up for grabs, while we welcome musical turn the Class Actions.

Pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey and a new game, thought up on the back of a cigarette paper by an original steering committee member, will be played, and prizes include a Margy-signed FC away shirt (the good one), a special limited edition FC Sankt Pauli shirt (as worn when they played FC in Hamburg) and a pair of kit man George’s unworn shorts.

Proceedings begin at 12pm as usual, with the first 22 punters through the door being rewarded with a limited edition souvenir.

The games will commence at around 1pm, so make sure you get in early to take part and secure your chance to receive your prizes from a suitable FC celebrity (when we find one).

At 2pm we will welcome the ace Salford band Class Actions on to the not-a-stage-at-the-end-of-the-room.

Here is how the band’s website describes them: “After writing a collection of lyrics based on his political, social, personal beliefs and experiences, Anglo-Turkish rapper Aslan AK teamed up with producer / composer Mike F. Class Actions mission is simple: produce accessible music with a message.

“Class Actions are based around a combination of Aslan’s aggressive rapping style, attention grabbing live act and Mike F’s catchy backing tracks. The tracks creatively fuse a unique mix of techno, electro, hip-hop, drum n bass, rock and punk amongst others.”

They recently brought out a free download compilation in tribute to those who lost their lives at Hillsborough 24 years ago this week. For more information and to download it, visit their website: classactionsuk.com

The lads have very kindly fitted us into their busy schedule and they have to shoot off at 2.30pm on the dot for their night gig in Bristol, so get in early to guarantee yourself a chance to see them as they are much in demand at the moment. When you see them you will know why.


All the while you can help yourself to a selection of kids party foods, in keeping with YUD. There will be two varieties of jelly – a non-alcoholic strawberry flavour and a vodka version, lovingly made by Linzi From The Bay. We may even manage to track down some fair trade ice cream from the Co-op round the corner to complete the dish.

Linzi will also be baking a big cake, with usual witty topping chosen by her husband Stuart. Not to be outdone by his better half, Stu will be making party sandwiches, cut in to triangles using his specially designed ebay knife, with the fillings still to be confirmed as we go to press. Vegetarians and meat murderers will all be catered for.

The jelly and ice cream and sandwiches will be available for a mere donation, rather than a set payment – a pay what you can afford scheme, if you will, which is an idea we nicked from another department.

FC’s ever-grafting club secretary will be making fairy cakes and we have also been promised a dish called ‘Pasta la Siempre’, being made by someone with a big nose who knows, courtesy of his big pot that’s hot. These will probably be going for £1 a portion.

Due to Mike Noodles’ enforced absence, a deal is being struck as we speak for the much-vaunted veggie hotdogs to be rescued and we are confident they will make the trip via a brief stop-off in Salford.

To make up for his non-appearance on such an auspicious occasion, Noodles has provided a suitable playlist for the day. He promises us ‘topical tunes, to add an extra dimension to pass the parcel’.

school milk 2

The usual tater ash, cheese pies and whimberry charlottes from the former industrial heartland of east Manchester will be on offer for the usual prices. Warm non-alcoholic beverages will be served at the Tea Earn and harking back to our childhood (this is Youth United Day, after all), milk will be free.

The usual beers will be served by our wacky, happy-go-lucky bar staff and we have selected an apt guest ale for the occasion.

All this revelry will unravel against the backdrop of cultural decoration including a new Wales Gay Pride flag, balloons, streamers, complimentary (they won’t slag you off) sweets and Pace Party Poppers.

When it comes to fun for the masses – we are the ‘go to’ men and women.

Usual door rules apply – members plus one guest. Get there early and above all else, enjoy yourselves and enjoy each other’s company.

Stay solid comrades.

The oddies

- CYCM takes place in the otherwise sparse bar behind Gigg Lane’s Manchester Road End, before FC United of Manchester’s Saturday home games. Saturday’s game (April 20) is against Worksop nine til five and will kick off at 3pm. Admission for under-18s is free. That is gratis. Absolutely freemans…

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