CYCM: Come and have a hug if you think you’re mard enough…
Feeling under the weather? Fucking skint? Bit pissed off with life? Having a tough time at work with bosses shitting on you from a great height? Wish you had a job in the first place? Completely depressed at the lack of action against those bastards privatising our health service? Well, Course You Can Malcolm is the place for you this Saturday.
We are promising you a hugathon. Everyone hugging everyone else in a display of love, befitting of how this club of ours was formed. Songs for the lovers. Keeping the witches at bay (it will make sense as you read on…)
Our band this week is a little bit spesh. In a good way. They are called The Eccentronic Research Council and they feature a familiar face. A face that has been a big part of British culture for some time – that of the wonderful actress Maxine Peake. We are chuffed to have her and the much-heralded band.
The Eccentronic Research Council are promising to play their album ’1612 Underture’, which they describe as “…an electronic Travelogue Lp about the abuse of Modern Working class Britain via 1612 and the Pendle Witches..”
The Quietus, a website featuring the work of AFL veteran Mick Middles, described their album as: “One of the most original British Albums of the Year. Just Brilliant.” It wasn’t Mick who wrote that, in case you were wondering if he was conflicting his interests and abusing his positions.
The Quietus describe the band better than we ever could: “The ERC are a self-styled collective of artists, sound designers, experimental pop performers, writers [and] poets. They have conjured up a beguiling brew of elektronische, keyboard led psych, synth pop and analogue ambient to act as the musical accompaniment to a prose poem.
“The narration – mainly carried out by TV actor Maxine Peake – is based around a (part fictional) account of a psychogeographical trip taken by a priest and a nun from Salford to Pendle to learn more about the town’s most notorious daughters.”
Sounds right up our collective streets (a neighbourhood?)
There will be cake courtesy of Linzi from the Bay and her husband Stuart will be trying out the new cake cutting device he recently won in an auction on eBay (a knife?)
Furthermore lager lout Blaine has convinced his sister to bake a cake too. Blaine said: “It would probably work as a raffle prize rather than selling it, as even with Stuart’s adjustable cake cutter I think it’ll be a challenge to divide.” Even when it comes to cake, the comrades will not allow anything to divide us.
As an afterthought, Blaine is much better at writing about beer, than cake…
The Team is Sheet will once again be read by the Weatherman and there will be the usual veggie food options provided by Noodles, alongside the tater ash, pies, beers from across the globe (Manchester?) and other stuff I have probably forgotten. Oh, tea will be served by our own 40-year-old virgin.
And in the most important, big news – the stamp will be back. The experiment last time out didn’t give a conclusive answer on whether it was worth scrapping or not (it made sure the half-time queues didn’t happen, but there were various issues we hadn’t considered), so keeping in the theme of hugging-and-a-kissing, we will bring it back for popularity’s sake. Hug the bouncers on the way in and they will give you a nice stamping.
Doors open at 12pm. If people are still taping things to walls and plugging extension wires in when you enter, don’t worry – it is all part of the entertainment. It is a live art show. Arse cracks included.
The band wish to go on at 2pm, so make sure you get in there nice and early before the ‘Full up’ signs are held aloft. They are also threatening to be the first band to have a proper sound check… We wish them well.
Usual door rules apply – members plus one guest etc.
Love, hugs, kisses and cuddles to you all. Come and reciprocate.
Fraternally (always) yours,