Course You Can Malcolm on Sunday is back by popular demand on Sunday. The extraordinary attendance of Malcolmses at the last home match is to be investigated by Manchester Metropolitan Police. It is claimed that large numbers of people crowding into the night club in the afternoon must be due to unnatural and evil influences. One FC fan who claimed to be in Course You Can Malcolm said, ‘I don’t know what made me go there, my mate said I should go ’cause it was like good’. The police suspect foul play and there are allegations that a tiny secretive sect of East Manchester communists were to blame for manipulating and intimidating innocent bystanders into the Malcolmses event.
Once in the den of evil, the shocked and unsuspecting audience were forced to listen to a book reading and listen to a punk band. They were then tricked into buying a book about Manchester City which was signed by the author, who himself was duped into the book reading with a promise of all the cheese pie he could eat and fairtrade coffee. The confused and gullible audience were not allowed out of the club unless they drank beer and ate cake.
This Sunday we are hoping that the nefarious and spiteful clique will not be able to spread their loathsome influence and CYCM will be back to normal. However, we cannot guarantee this so the need to get there early is a must to avoid being squeezed out by the communists’ mob.
The young exciting Stockport band The Centrals will be entertaining us or not depending on their mood. Their unique blend of guitar, voice and drums is unique. Opposing cross rhythms create a splendid infusion of sound that must be heard, but we may not hear them because they may or may not turn up.
Our excellent and esteemed DJs will do what they do best, drink a lot and play vinyl.
The usual beer, cake, food and tea will be on offer. A rare and super special beer will be raffled. There will be other fundraising activities and special guests to entertain and amuse, all money to go to the ‘build a giant replica of the Berlin Wall made from tater ash at Moston’ fund. The Weatherman will attempt to make sense of a confusing and controversial team sheet and weed out the vile commies.
The last Malcolmses contributed £1,199.60 gross. Keep eating and drinking and make our dream of a giant wall of tater ash a reality.
Thanks to the Working Class Movement Library for the images in this post – www.wcml.org.uk