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2,000,000 blues were not really here

Submitted by on May 14, 2012 – 8:20 pmNo Comment

From the Chadderton Evening Chronicle:

Millions of City fans turned Manchester bright blue as Roberto Mancini’s men took to the streets to parade the Premiership League cup trophy.

An astonishing 2,000,000 Blues turned out for an emotional celebration, before filing off home for their tea.

Some were old enough to remember City’s last league win in 1968. But most had done one by 7.05pm.

Crowds gathered outside Albert Square from 3pm as the town hall was turned into a shrine to the Blues – most sat on the benches and ate their ready-made butties, washed down with thermo-flasked tea brewed by their aunty Dot.

At 4pm the imaginary gates were lifted and 150,000 hobbled in, desperate for a decent vantage point. Our correspondent reporting live from one of the two hovering copper choppers deployed at tax payers’ expense for no conceivable reason, said the scene was reminiscent of a Big Issue sellers’ convention.

A giant screen played highlights from the season – all the way up to the weekend’s Hollywood-style finale. When the stars of the show finally took to the stage, a huge cheer erupted and the assembled hordes celebrated the deaths of 23 people in an air crash in 1958.

Soon to be sacked underachiever Roberto Mancini gave words of thanks before he and the players boarded the open-topped blue buses, and began their parade through 300-deep crowds lining a route all the way down Deansgate.

For pensioner Trevor Francis, from Heaton Mersey, Stockport, the celebrations stirred memories. He said: “I can remember signing for them for loads of money and being a complete flop.”

Displaying that famous gallows humour Emma Ground, from Middleton, Rochdale, said: “It’s all down to the Sheikh and Roberto Mancini. Typical City isn’t it?”

Wayne Winstanley, from Gorton, said: “City control Manchester now. We’ve knocked United off their perch – and we’ll be on it for a long time.”

Police said at 5.30pm that Albert Square was filled to its 12,000 capacity and no more fans will be allowed in. Shortly before 7pm police said they estimated 100,000 fans had attended the parade, as the other 88,000 had been ‘invisible man’s shadow-ing’ in various top secret locations throughout the city centre.

A GMP spokesman said: “The 12,000 packed into Albert Square were joined by their shadows and this took the crowd up to 24,000. They weren’t really here, so that made it 48,000, add in those putting their picnic blankets down on Deansgate, as the last time they ventured into town it was still a grassed thoroughfare and the numbers soon add up to 2,000,000.”

Asked why town seemed only slightly busier than a usual Monday night and not a patch on how hammered it was when an estimated 100,000 Rangers fans had descended, the spokesman began to sing: “We are not, we are not really here…” He then took his top off and preceded to wave it round his head before turning his back on our correspondent and jumping up and down. It was the perfect end to the best ever celebration.

For more ace, impartial and accurate coverage see: http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1497544_100000-fans-hail-champions-manchester-city-along-league-trophy-parade-route

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