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A real pain

Submitted by on April 11, 2012 – 3:41 pmNo Comment

So I am having a break from painting my bathroom and I decide I need something to eat, I’m off bread at the moment because I went to a funeral a few days ago and I couldn’t get my suit on because I’m so fat, so I am trying to eat sensibly because I have a wedding reception on the 14th and I want to get in the damn suit without slicing my self in half when I sit down.

I decide on fish fingers and beans but after laying out ten fish fingers on the tray I come to the conclusion it’s too many.

The thing with fish fingers is they are so delicious but you need about 15 to fill yourself up.

I decide that its way over the top so I put 4 back in the box and put six under the grill. I open a tin of beans and decide half will do as I will be having my tea later on so put half the tin in the fridge.

I reach in the grill to check on the progress of the fish fingers and burn my hand on the grill, it hurts like hell.

I start to wonder how such a little insignificant burn can hurt so much and try to put it into context with say perhaps a person who has suffered 95% burns all over their body, I start to shudder, how do people survive such trauma.

My own insignificant burn is really hurting despite submerging it in water for around 5 minutes, Savalon perhaps? Or shall I just let the air get to it.

I saw Simon Weston on the TV the other day discussing the Falklands War; the guy is covered from head to foot in scars as a result of being burnt during the course of that war.

Can you imagine the pain, a million of my oven burns all over your body and a million times more painful?

Then I reminisce about other injuries I have had in the past and recall that at the time they were to me quite serious.

Breaking my nose playing football and having an operation to reset it, an operation on my spine to fuse two vertebrae together and worst of all cutting down weeds in the garden with a bread knife and nearly chopping my knee in half.

I’m a lucky guy and pray no serious injury ever bestows itself on me or my loved ones.

In conclusion I’m just a fat soft arse who can’t paint.


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