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Persuasion

Submitted by on June 27, 2011 – 10:01 amNo Comment

By Navajo

Your penis gets crushed between your saddle and your inner thigh when you are cycling naked, unless you have an erection or you’re a woman. There’s not much to get an erection about when you are cycling around Manchester with a police escort.

Although I do know for a fact that if the naked cyclists were Gary Nevilles there would be an erotically charged element to the proceedings. When I saw the naked cyclists last year they had no police escort and they were very noisy, jolly and happy.

This year they seemed like a naturist trapped in Trinny and Susanna makeover hell. I’m not sure if it was the police escort, the trapped penises or the fact that Take That had re-formed again but the mood amongst the naked cyclists was definitely on the less than jubilant side.

I suspect that naked cycling gets you that way, one day you’re as happy as Larry, the next your penis is trapped between your saddle and your inner thigh or your nipples are dropping off due to the wind chill factor. The benefits of cycling being lost in the nakedness of the naked cycling. Once the naked cyclists had passed by in a King Caractacus type of way I noticed a clothed cyclist and was a bit disappointed.

So maybe the answer to encouraging greater cycling in Manchester is to regulate for nude only cycling. Although I recognise the obvious drawback during winter. Promoting your passion does pose a problem, the most adamant and persistent forms of persuasion generally involve sex or violence or sex and violence.

Now I can see that the nakedness of the naked cyclist has a element of sexual innuendo. But seeing the nakedness of the naked cyclists didn’t endear me to rush out, buy a bicycle and ride it, naked or otherwise.

Would violent cycling do the trick? Gangs of cyclists rampage towards each other, in a mass jousting type of way, maybe holding broomsticks as lances and other protruding implements. Smash into each other and see who comes out on top and still cycling. That does seem like a more entertaining way to promote cycling. I still don’t think it would make me get on my bike, as a once famous knobhead said.

Naked mass bicycle jousting would just get ugly. In 1894 the Clarion Cycling Clubs were set up for the purpose of spreading Socialist propaganda. See the Working Class Movement Library website. They’d cycle into towns, in their hats and long dresses, red flags flying from their bicycles, stop and hand out revolutionary propaganda.

The cycling wasn’t important nor the hats, although I’m sure they looked fancy in them. The important bit was the communicating with ordinary people. The Clarion cyclists didn’t relay on gimmicks or shock tactics. They believed in winning people over to their ideas through education and debate.

I suppose the answer lies in persistent, gentle discussion. Listening to the objections, answering questions and fears with honest open answers. Letting people see your enthusiasm for the idea and concept. Your belief in the rightness of your vision.

Getting your dick crushed or chilblains on your nipples or cycling with an erection isn’t going to convince anyone. Persuasion, like marriage, is something you have to work at, it’s not always easy, you have to compromise, you have to be flexible.

To be persuasive you have to have love, honesty, intelligence and passion. Sometimes the persuasives get on your nerves, you want to just get away from them and be on your own. Wallow in your own correctness, rid yourself of the invasion of their stupid objections. That’s fine, but return, persuasion demands persistence.

The future belongs to us, what else are you going to do?

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