Beauty Pageants

Home » Football, Headline

Death of a disco dancer

Submitted by on April 18, 2011 – 9:04 am2 Comments

It doesn’t get much worse than losing to the not rights at Wembley, but the following day an unlikely source gave us all a nice boost in the arm by scoring an injury time penalty to all but hand United their 19th league title.

Meanwhile, FC United were on the receiving end of some shocking refereeing as the nine-men reds were beaten at Chasetown to dent their hopes of a second place finish. Football. Wahey. Let’s all do the Poznan…

Now the semi has faded and we’re left with a disappointing floppy, at least we no longer have to suffer the sanctimonious press coverage of our joskin neighbours. The Chadderton Evening Chronicle once again excelled themselves with their completely biased angles, with the ‘9-1 coaches’ story (see elsewhere on this site) being a highlight. No mention of the fact that 28 coaches went from Old Trafford, whereas only 17 left Eastlands.

No hint of irony was attached to the CEC’s blue-bumming reporter Faketan Keegan tweeting while travelling down on a city supporters’ coach…from Bredbury. His ‘hilarious’ updates are worth looking at again at manchestereveningnews.co.uk.

The Observer yesterday decided that city fans were the best because:

“The light blue masses were in place in the stadium’s western half long before their red counterparts had taken their seats, and with that bizarre backs to the pitch dance, borrowed from Lech Poznan, and the dozens of flags, beach balls and inflatable bananas, the City end looked and sounded like a giant street party.

“United’s support merely stood there, as if this was the kind of spectacle to which they are accustomed every week, warranting no special display of exuberance. If perhaps half of all the United supporters had turned up wearing replica shirts, the figure at the other end must have been closer to 90%.”


So that’s settled – true ‘footy’ fans wear replica shirts, dance like dicks and wave inflatable implements.

After today, we will surely be spared the cringefest that is the Burnage bellends for a while, at least until the FA Cup Final build up. Liam did his best parody of himself on Football Focus talking about how city fans and United fans differed, he said: “United fans tuck their shirts in…”. So that’s that settled too. Being a scruffy cunt is cool in the Pretty Green world of the Slade-headed youngest Gallagher. The same man who had no interest in football until he was well into his twenties.

The other family embarrassment was seen jumping around in the exec boxes of Wembley and was no doubt replicating the silly clicky fingers thing he did when he drew city out of the hat alongside Kasabian’s Leicester City. You’re in your forties man, start acting like it.

Of course the BBC couldn’t be bothered to find a United equivalent to interview, because none of them have an awful clothing line to promote. A decent feature would have been to get one of the Gallaghers together with Mani or Ian Brown, but that would have meant shattering the nation’s comfy illusions about city’s ‘only true manc’ credentials.

The BBC North West team were equally lacking in irony as they visited a city supporters club in…Reddish. One blue balloon proudly chirped: “There’s three coaches going from here and only one red coach. Says it all doesn’t it?” Yes it does you dick, you’re from Stockport.

As usual there were no reports of how city fans habitually refer to United as ‘the Munichs’ and United fans as ‘Munichs’ and how most of their songs have Munich references in them. It doesn’t fit the media agenda.

They will get their karma though, as when city inevitably become the next Chelsea and everyone starts hating them and seeing them for what they are, the Munich references will become national knowledge.

As for the actual football, city deserved their victory and United only had themselves to blame with missed chances early on and Scholes’s daft challenge resulted in a red.

Liverpool offered some much-needed cheer, with their 110th minute penalty denying title contenders Arsenal three points. It was nice to benefit from some of LFC’s bottomless pit of luck and support from officialdom for once.

This now sets up the prospect of city’s first silverware for 35 years being overshadowed by United lifting their 19th league title to become the most successful English side in history on the same day. It was always thus. 1968 anyone…?

Prior to that Wembley encounter some of us watched FC struggle in Staffordshire. A decent first half performance was mired in the second half as the referee had a shocker. Top striker Norton was given a straight red for seemingly trying to stand up after falling over in unison with a Chasetown defender.

Jerome Wright was harshly booked some time later, then foolishly threw himself into another challenge and was dismissed for a second yellow. Unfortunate as it was, with the mood the ref was obviously in, Jerome should have stayed clear of trouble at every opportunity.

The fact the referee was female had nothing to do with the ineptitude of her second half performance. A lot of referees at this level are shocking. Regardless of their sex. Some of the comments directed her way from FC fans were completely out of order, though it was heartening that many reds shouted the dicks down.

The refs are shocking because they aren’t professionals; they are doing the gig to earn some beer money. They are bound to be affected by the large crowds watching FC games. That Saturday’s ref was a woman had nothing to do with anything. Some people need to take a long hard look at themselves, or maybe apply for a job at Talksport.

Everything had started so brightly. The vinyl sale at Piccadilly Records to mark International Record Shop Day, followed by a brew in Night and Day while watching Malcolmses favourites Louche FC, hinted at the potential for a lovely day. Football ruined it. As usual. Until next time…


  • jstand says:

    Keegan was falling over himself on Twitter yesterday to issue semi-apologies for his comments on Saturday. That aside, many points were proven on Saturday – journalists are quite often lazy, Ferguson gets shit wrong and Manchester is not majority blue.

  • LesBagg says:

    Mani won’t get on telly again after he went on the abomination that was Soccer AM a few years ago, in the days when they had guests who were actually interested in football, fancy that, eh?.
    The great man shattered Dame Helen’s cosy couch image of football fans all being really great,whacky guys and having the utmost love and respect for each other away from the “passion” of the Premier League.

    Dame Helen:- “So, how do you think the Newcastle v Liverpool game will finish?”
    Mani:- “I don’t care, I hate ‘em both!”
    Cue the look of shock on The Dame’s face, as Mani didn’t give the usual “Yeah, both good teams, should be a good game” bullshit script.

    Dame Helen also once angered the whole of the 3rd Divsison (in old money) by sceaming out
    “Come on City, every real football fan wants you up there”
    As she built up a 2nd Division (in old money) fixture when City were going for promotion to the 1st Division (in old money) in 2000.
    No Helen my dear, they didn’t as any of us tiny 3rd Division clubs who faced City in 1998/99 would have told you. Those who were treated to their winging and moaning about “Being in this Division” and the skriking and weeping about having to play in all of our dump football grounds deemed not good enough for them to set foot in.
    No Helen, all those people wished, and probably still wish nothing but ill on Manchester City football club.

Leave a comment!

You must be logged in to post a comment.