Headline

Featured

Football

Magazine

Beauty Pageants

Home » Featured, Football

CYCM: Pup for the Cup…

Submitted by on November 19, 2010 – 1:13 pmOne Comment

12pm Your pub opens. Come in earlier for a warm if you’ve got your ticket at 11 as we’re there from 10.

Jack Russell

A ludicrously cute Jack Russell

1-ish Mick Middles. The author of ‘Mr Manchester and the factory girl’ will be giving his insider views on the Manchester music scene of the last 34 years. Yes, 34.

1.45-ish Margentiferous

2pm Liam Frost

2.30-ish ‘This team is sheet’ with Twomowers. Unmissable. But those who go know that. Bring a girdle for your ribs.

12 – 3pm Do the Rustle. Plus star guest Georgie ‘He’s gonna teach us pup football’ O’Neill.

FC United of Manchester play Wrinkly United in the Phat this Saturday. The Manchester Road End is shut so everyone, from all stands, can come into CYCM.

WOOF OVER OUR HEADS…
Course You Can Malcolm, being your pub needs constantly to be looking to evolve as our club evolves. We found another bit of that ‘children of the evolution’ at the Colwyn Bay game. Georgie the waggiest-tailed dog in existence was in the ground with its owner. We’ve all heard the saying ‘one man and his dog’. The Bay game gave us that opportunity to hold Georgie on the lead and be that man. It was a ‘May the 11th 2005’ moment all over again. CYCM needed a dog. All good pubs have one in the corner. It’s now got one. He’s got a kit… and unfortunately a song and his owner is going to sing it Saturday…

‘This dog is your dog,
This dog is my dog,
Three stripes and one tail,
Oh woof a fine dog,
They tried to take it,
But we retrained him…
and then there’s swear words but still.

THE TURNS…
Along with Georgie will be the music cleveroid Mick Middles the old music journo from NME/Sounds/MEN who will be giving his inside goss on the Manchester music scene from punk to now. After all these years in and around that foolish industry he is still a genuinely good man. Thus the reason he wanted to help us in CYCM with our Ten Acre pursuits. He’ll be doing a Q and A so any noseying along the lines of ‘So, did Devoto…?’, ‘Surely Paul Morley can’t be that big a …?’, ‘Did Wilson really…?’, ‘Did the lads from the Farm and the legendary The End fanzine ever get to batter you for calling the Bunnymen as they said they would?’ should be thought of now. Closed old-IMUSA-meeting-no-leaks-walls rules apply and all that. Mick has just written a book with Tony Wilson’s first wife. She can’t come because she works Saturdays. Aww.

Liam Frost needs no introduction for those with even the slightest knowledge of the Manchester music scene. How he’s not ‘made it’ yet has that ‘I am Kloot/Elbow for ages’ mystery about it…but he will. If you’ve been in a lead box for the last couple of years just Google him and see how nice it is that such an accomplished Manchester artist should want to play his 22 minutes for free. He’s an attendee of our games and so when the mither came for him to play he just felt honoured. Come along and give a lovely Manchester musician, with some commendable footballing values, your appreciation.

FOOD…
Many of you will know Pace from…well from anywhere really as he gallivants about a lot. He will be providing a warming vegetarian chilli for ’Lettuce Leave’ to accompany, and add to, the usual finest foodie fare. Well we say Pace. In actual fact it’s his Mam who does all the graft. He just sits on the settee sporting an array of dandy hats whilst she’s doing it. That ticket queuing can get bbrrrster, come in and donate your two pound and get yourself warmed up.

YOUR MANAGER…
Be warned, I have heard Murrjy’s two Margentiferous jokes that he’s going to do. I didn’t ask to, I got stuck queuing at the bar with him and he knew he had me as I couldn’t lose my place in the queue. They are truly, truly, truly bad. Not just normally Murrjy bad, but as if he has an evil, even unfunnier twin. The thing is, when our Manager tells them, he absolutely believes they are funny. Do some vocal warm ups as I don’t want you to strain any vocal chords booing the worst joked man in Britain.

So come in. It’s all yours to be warm and cosy in. When you see those signs advertising for Landlords and Landladies that say ‘So, you want to own your own pub?’ all you have to do is think ‘I already do, cock’. We’re open at twelve but feel free to come in earlier as we’re dolling the place up/getting beer in from ten and we wouldn’t turn you away. Together, as always, to the next round…

Phaternally yours

The CYCM Oddies

One Comment »

Leave a comment!

You must be logged in to post a comment.