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CYCM: Do not be afraid, for we have redeemed you. We have called you by your name; you are ours…

Submitted by on October 15, 2010 – 3:09 pmNo Comment

This Course You Can Malcolm preview is going to be short for two reasons. One – I’m writing it whilst drunk and Two – due to the first point there is no point two.

This Saturday FC United of Manchester play Skemmalemadingdong again. No hold it, we play Newcastle ‘broke leg mountain’ Town in the FA Trophy. CYCM is open to everyone this week as the Manchester Road End is closed. We’ve even negotiated a half time opening situation by a secret back passage. We’ll inform you how to get back in at half time when you come in before the game. I just said back passage.

To show a noddington to In The City that is happening this weekend we have four white boys with guitars playing for 22 minutes. They are The Harks. If only they were from Sale then they’d be The Sale Harks…but they’re not. The Harks have played Moho, Night and Day, the Academy etsetch etsetch. Their manager Paul could win the ‘most mithering manager’ as they wanted to play Malcolmses and they just wore us down. That’s no bad thing. If you want to look at them before the gig then they have a myspace thing which is something like myspace.comtheharks

Due to Twomowers’s mam’s funeral at St Anne’s, Openshaw yesterday we are all still exceedingly pixilated as an eleven-hour drinking session ensued. It was funny, and it was very clever. However, in the interests of brevity for this article, we have for your enjoyment tomorrow…

The Harks, obv. Murrjy’s two joke ‘Margentiferous’ spot. Twomowers’s ‘This team is sheet’. A new spot from ‘Do the Rustle’ that is just potty but lovely. Blaine tells us that the guest beer is Titanic Stout from Titanic Brewery. CAMRA Bottled Beer of Britain 2009, 4.5%.

Josephine90 says “Mention the fruitcake, it’s oblong not round this time, that must be a draw. And isn’t oblong a great word?”. She may have a point. Eyebrows will have his unconventional veggie-sausage-and-onions-in-a-kettle thing going on in Lettuce Leave as usual but this week he is to be joined by a five-bean chilli made by a board member. The board member is quite rotund so obviously likes his feed which is a good sign.

The Three Tenas will be serving your beers, Talkative your tea, the Fullens your hash and all whilst basking in the light of the righteous through the CYCM pub window as this is your club pub and it wishes you nothing but goodness in everything you do.

Anyway, there we are. When you dwell in the exile of the stranger, remember you are precious in our eyes. Do not be afraid, for this club’s redeemed us. We have called it by its name, it is ours.

Spirit, patience, gentlenessly yours

The CYCM Oddies and the Openshaw Awkward getness of Kathleen Turton and all her thousands of awkwardget descendants

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