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Telly Guide 28/03/2009

Submitted by on March 28, 2010 – 6:31 pm4 Comments

Shit. Shit shit shit, Jason and the Argonauts (FiveUSA 14:00)… right we’ve missed that let’s try to not focus on that and get through the rest of this guide as best we can here. Wonders of the Solar System (BBC2 21:00) is again the televisual stand-out of the night – really great series this. Great films on tonight with two de niro films being the highlights, interesting though as i always found Mean Streets (BBC2 23:30) to be really over-rated (admittedly this is because i find Harvey Keitel to be massively over-rated) and The King of Comedy (BBC2 01:20) to be really quite under-rated – I watched this again recently and loved it even more if such a thing is possible. Kevin Smith eh? what is there to say about Kevin Smith films.  I’ll start with this ‘They’re Shit’ and to prove it Jersey Girl (BBC 1 23:20) – i haven’t seen it, but there is a good reason for this, it is described as ‘a romantic comedy with ben affleck’ why in the name of christ would i ever watch that?, but when you throw in that it was directed by the man who gave us the risible ‘Chasing Amy’… no, it may be over-rated but i think Mean Streets will be being watched on BBC2.  When ITV sacked off the South Bank Show, there was much hand wringing… i’m not sure why as they appear to have brought it back only now calling it South Bank Show revisited (ITV1 22:15) and to put people off further they are featuring Andrew Lloyd Webber so as to ensure no-one actually watches it.  28 Weeks Later (Channel 4 22:00)  andThe Commitments (Channel 4 12:55) are other worthy mentions film-wise.  After Match of the Day 2 is Johnstones Paint Trophy Carlisle vs Southampton (BBC2 22:50)


This is it, University Challenge (BBC2 8pm) – Manchester Vs Emmanuel College of the Fenland Polytechnic – come on Manchester let’s get tore right into them bastards. Ask the chancellors (Channel 4 8pm)…. wow! yes, it really is what you think – fun-boy three alastair darling, george osborne and vince cable in a real live studio audience… this sounds like simultaneously the worst and the greatest thing ever…. i can see the thinking, bring a bit of reality tv and perhaps some showbiz glam to the cutting edge of politics, but really ‘ask the chancellors’ – ok, here’s one for the cunt that has a badger’s face – why did you put up the price of cider just before i get all summery and drink me magners? On that subject (politicians on tv not badger-faced cunts taxing my shaun ryder) How to win an election: a Panorama guide (BBC4 9pm) looks very good.  Panorama – Passports to Kill (BBC1 20:30) is James Corbin investigating the Hammas Hit in Dubai recently – is that the fat guy from gavin and stacey?  no, i’ve googled it, it’s not – pity though, that could have had entertainment value.

The man who cycled the Americas
(BBC1 22:35). I watched this last week and what was interesting was for the first time it showed Mark Beaumont’s sense of humour as he looked bewildered at some men who wanted to pray for him. He doesn’t really get to show that as normally he’s whinging about his bike falling apart or being saddle sore, i say whinging but its kind of understandable as he is carrying out this massive journey from Alaska to Argentina but part of me kind of wants more of a travelogue rather than a man whining about dying of dehydration…. i dunno, maybe i’m being unfair.  More cycling after this with The Flying Scotsman (BBC1 23:25) which i must admit i am quite looking forward to seeing. Falling Down (ITV4 22:05) is on again – which is good i forgot to watch it last week. Mathematician and poet eh?  that’d be a cracking job title.The Genius of Omar Khayyam (BBC4 10pm) looks at someone who fitted that bill.

Live UEFA Champions League (ITV 19:30)  live game is Arsenal Barcelona  – everyone is going to be watching this aren’t they?  they are though… so i’m going to be really slack here and not do any more guide… the life of ‘canoe man‘ (BBC4 9pm) john darwin has been made into a tv drama…. i just have no idea why that would appeal – surely we know the story? American History X (ITV 10pm) – this film is responsible for making me wince when i so much as see a kerb.

Museum of Life (BBC2 8pm) this week has an extra interest for myself in that it features photos from the Veolia Environment Wildlife Photographer of the year (formerly Shell sponsored). Ii love these pictures, i think, excepting the World Press Photo Awards this is probably my favourite award series of photography – i’ll be watching for that alone. Liverpool are playing Benfica (Five 19:30) if you are interested or the quite underwhelming This is England (Film4 9pm) But i think pick of the day is The Ten Commandments (film4 14:45) – never seen this before – i think i might settle down for this epic god-fest before a right good Mass and a  scrubbing of me plates of meat later.

Smokey and the bandit (ITV 14:55) notwithstanding Papillon (BBC 2 22:30) is the obvious stand out, but special mention to for The Quatermass Xperiment (BBC2 1:35) and the gayer-than-christmas Flash Gordon (ITV 0:30)… hang on…. Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (BBC1 23:30) when was that made?… well 2001 i see in this guide but why wasn’t i informed? – fuck Papillon, this is getting watched

Apologies for the lack of radio, someone stole an hour of me and i ran out of time


  • Twomowers says:

    I know it’s going to be hard to resist Barca but I’m gonna give that canoe man a go. We had a John Darwin at cycm a few weeks back and I quipped “its not the bloke that feigned his own death and fooked off to Panama” – it go no laughs so I thought i’d do some research to see if i’d got the right bloke, but i never did so this might do the trick, I reckon there’s more to this story than we think – plus a bit of dramatisation might spice up the facts.
    Anyways at our Durham hotel on Fozzers stag-do we bumped into John Darwin (the cycm one not the canoe one)and he bought us all loads of drinks we couldn’t finish on his room tab and when he checked-out his bill was about £200, so the least i can do is watch this – even though its not him but i’ll be thinkin of him while i’m watching it.

  • Nefred Felman says:

    WOTSS is the best thing around right now and is a good example of my problem with “regional accents” on TV these days. Just compare Brian Cox to Vernon Kaye. Both telly personalities with regional accents but one accent is toe-curlingly jarring and the other accent is just in the background.

    Brian Cox has a regional accent because he comes from Oldham but he’s on TV because he’s a clever guy, a university professor and a fellow of the Royal Society (and all while looking barely out of his late 20s, the bastard).

    Vernon Kaye on the other hand is on TV despite only having one qualification – an overwheening and unmerited self-confidence and self-regard. So to get noticed he jacks up his Bolton accent into a comedy Northerner’s accent that no-one in real life ever uses.

    Which of the two do we believe is the more genuine? The smart-as-fuck professor for me.

  • Talkative says:

    As pointed out in last week’s indispensible telly guide, Brian Cox likes to use all sorts of stuff to represent the Solar System.

    Last night he used salt and pepper – not the 80s pop duo: the episode was called ‘dead or alive’ so he could have used Mel n Kim if he’d have wanted to go down that distasteful route. He used stuff on a table in an american diner, with orange juice as the sun and some of those horrible sachets of sweetener as asteroids. At one point he picked up his cup and said “that’s my coffee by the way, which doesn’t represent anything. I’ll put it over there”. That boy’ll go a long way.

    Anyway, Manchester are getting battered off the toffs. No not City v Wigan unfortunately, but University Challenge…

  • toast says:

    that was a battering at one point the score was 70 to -5, and manchester were reduced to shouting ‘STRAUSS’ at paxman… painful stuff That panorama thing on politicians on telly was good tho

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