Headline

Featured

Football

Music

Magazine

Home » Archive by Category

Articles in Featured

CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL
December 25, 2017 – 6:00 am | No Comment
CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL

A new study by a leading Manchester University professor and his team has proved what all Christians feared – that Christmas is shite. Dr. Solomon Shellac of UMIST made the startling discovery after researching all …

Frenzy
December 22, 2017 – 1:06 pm | No Comment
Frenzy

I went to Asda to buy my Christmas crap, chocolate, biscuits, Hummus and booze, a traditional Christmas feast. And also tea bags. However, I had to literally fight my way to the tea bags, ram a path to the chocolate, bludgeon my way down the biscuit isle and mount an armed assault in the bread isle.

Survey reveals that Christmas is shite
December 16, 2017 – 7:11 am | No Comment
Survey reveals that Christmas is shite

A new study by a leading Manchester University professor and his team has proved what all Christians feared – that Christmas is shite. Dr. Solomon Shellac of UMIST made the startling discovery after researching all …

Older reds swap derby memories
December 11, 2017 – 8:06 pm | No Comment
Older reds swap derby memories

From the Daily Telegraph:
Derek Gardner remembers the 1955 Manchester derby like it was yesterday. Or, rather, he remembers the build-up to the game.
“I was out on the town and ended up in a club in …

A time for giving, and that…
December 7, 2017 – 10:21 pm | No Comment
A time for giving, and that…

From The Non League Paper:

The season of goodwill is here and FC United of Manchester are getting in on the act once again as they get set to open the doors at Broadhurst Park to …

Kenny Ball and his J*zzmen
December 5, 2017 – 5:55 pm | No Comment
Kenny Ball and his J*zzmen

It’s a well established political fact that Kenny Ball, from Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen, despises Nigel Winterburn with an intensity rarely seen in the jazz world. Both modern and acid. Knowing this, I contacted …

Ice Breaker
November 21, 2017 – 8:26 am | No Comment
Ice Breaker

Training days can be a mixed blessing. On the one hand you get to spend the day drinking tea, eating biscuits and chatting to your workmates, which is always better than working. However, on the …

CYCM 28/10/17: Oh, Broadhurst Park is Wonderful, it’s Full of Holt, Holt’s and United….
October 25, 2017 – 10:45 am | No Comment
CYCM 28/10/17: Oh, Broadhurst Park is Wonderful, it’s Full of Holt, Holt’s and United….

The history books don’t tell us if Joseph Holt ever met the Hyde brothers, Ralph and Alfred, and they certainly don’t tell us if they ended up scrapping. For this preview’s sake though, let’s just …

Kick It Out?
September 20, 2017 – 7:33 pm | No Comment
Kick It Out?

By Johny Helzapopin
In a week where Romelu Lukaku has scored again for Manchester United, continuing his blistering form since his arrival from Everton, off-field issues have overshadowed what all United fans should be focusing …

You can keep your privates away from me, thank you very much
July 11, 2017 – 8:50 pm | 2 Comments
You can keep your privates away from me, thank you very much

Having never given it a second thought, mainly down to having the NHS and therefore not needing it, private healthcare was something I’d never been intimately acquainted with. That all changed a few years back …

Now I can go into any company – Make July 5 NHS Day
July 6, 2017 – 7:34 am | No Comment
Now I can go into any company – Make July 5 NHS Day

For the first time every man woman and child in the country could see a doctor and get the help they needed no matter their ability to pay for medical care.

We were makin’ love by Wednesday…
July 5, 2017 – 7:28 am | No Comment
We were makin’ love by Wednesday…

Today a three-day strike by hospital workers defending their right to acceptable conditions and pay has begun. They are striking against Serco, a multi-billion pound global company that won the contract to supply cleaners, porters and other staff to hospitals in London. Serco’s CEO is Winston Churchill’s grandson. Our solidarity with Serco workers is absolute.

You can polish a turd…
July 3, 2017 – 7:30 am | No Comment
You can polish a turd…

They later discovered that the kind elderly man, with time on his hands, had lay in his bed and very carefully sucked all the chocolate off his maltesers.

“We’re going to save it you bells…”
June 30, 2017 – 7:35 am | No Comment
“We’re going to save it you bells…”

It took my first holiday abroad on my own with my mates to try and get my head round why I’d need travel insurance, I think the conversation went “why did we need that as it’s free isn’t it?” The concept that it wasn’t free just didn’t make sense at all.

Don’t draw a cock
June 7, 2017 – 12:50 pm | No Comment
Don’t draw a cock

Every time I get in the voting booth I get the urge to draw a cock on the ballot paper. It’s worse this time cos a family member has appointed me as a proxy. It’s double temptation to draw a cock.

Pass the brillo pad…
June 7, 2017 – 8:25 am | No Comment
Pass the brillo pad…

And what will follow? More of the bloody same. More people using food banks, more people dying because they have had their benefits stopped, a hard brexit that will make the whole country worse off, a tax haven for the very rich, people finding that, in real terms they are facing pay cuts and less workers rights.

The beautiful cack-handed ibex
June 6, 2017 – 8:07 pm | No Comment
The beautiful cack-handed ibex

What a beautiful world it wants to bring into being for the many; what sturdy collective endeavour it encourages us all to work towards.

The best thing since black pudding
June 6, 2017 – 10:19 am | No Comment
The best thing since black pudding

I’m immensely proud of my upbringing in Manchester in the 90s and the communities which shaped me that have been forgotten. The people who work hard and look after each other have been badly let down by the politicians of all persuasions who were supposed to look after them.

Man flu
June 6, 2017 – 7:35 am | No Comment
Man flu

By Joe Hill’s mardyarse ghost
Man Flu. Who was it that conjured up that beauty? It seems to depict that a bloke with flu is being a right mard arse.
So there I was wallowing in …

I’m dreaming
June 5, 2017 – 12:28 pm | No Comment
I’m dreaming

Over the past six weeks every time Corbyn has opened his mouth he has spoken for me and my family; not the bankers who got us into this mess in the first place; not for the establishment; not for the rich; not to the parliamentary Labour Party!