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CYCM 12/10/19: Stanleys, Peaches & Herb
October 8, 2019 – 6:34 pm | No Comment
CYCM 12/10/19: Stanleys, Peaches & Herb

Back when everything was in black and white, and liver and tripe was served for tea every night, people looked ahead to the year 2000 fully expecting flying cars, robot housemaids and intergalactic war with …

CYCM 21/09/19: Cry Me Three Rivers
September 18, 2019 – 6:30 pm | No Comment
CYCM 21/09/19: Cry Me Three Rivers

This week’s turn, The Crying Beauty Queens, hail from Stockport, Clitheroe and Stoke. If Stoke was a plural that would sound like a firm of solicitors, wouldn’t it? Just as well it isn’t, because Stokes …

CYCM 07/09/19: One Notion Under A Groove
September 4, 2019 – 6:06 pm | No Comment
CYCM 07/09/19: One Notion Under A Groove

Been a lovely, world-turned-upside-down, few days hasn’t it. The Tory party tearing itself apart. FC United winning a football match at Broadhurst Park and scoring four goals in the process. Plant pots, hay bales and …

CYCM 24/08/19: When the Seadogs Follow the Footballer(s)
August 20, 2019 – 6:04 pm | No Comment
CYCM 24/08/19: When the Seadogs Follow the Footballer(s)

There was an interesting news story (if you’re that way inclined) on the telly the other day about the increasing voracity of seagulls. It appears these mainstays of seaside resorts are getting cockier and narkier, …

CYCM 13/04/2019: Zangwills ‘n’ Thrills But No Bellyaches
April 10, 2019 – 8:41 am | No Comment
CYCM 13/04/2019: Zangwills ‘n’ Thrills But No Bellyaches

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines force of will as ‘the ability to continue trying despite difficulties’, and when you see it carried out in all its proud, straining glory, it’d take the most awkwardest of gets to …

CYCM 30/03/19: Fine Young Decibels
March 28, 2019 – 6:14 pm | No Comment
CYCM 30/03/19: Fine Young Decibels

It seems every man, woman and their dog has an opinion when it comes to youth. Oscar Wilde, for example, displayed his through his commentary on aestheticism in The Picture of Dorian Gray, which saw the …

CYCM 02/03/19: Only girls and football break your heart
February 28, 2019 – 2:02 pm | No Comment
CYCM 02/03/19: Only girls and football break your heart

We’ve got some proper culinary treats lined up for you this week. Vegan Ronay is preparing Veg Mex, or vegan tacos, while for the traditionalists among you Stu will be serving up Westwell’s legendary tater …

CYCM 16/02/19: East meets Westwell’s
February 13, 2019 – 6:11 pm | No Comment
CYCM 16/02/19: East meets Westwell’s

First things first, a big thank you to everyone who came along to CYCM last week. We were a bit nervous, to be honest: we know none of you really tiptoed through the Kippax in …

CYCM 09/02/19: Maitland Season Begins in Earnest
February 6, 2019 – 1:57 pm | No Comment
CYCM 09/02/19: Maitland Season Begins in Earnest

Spring: what a time of year to be human. You get to kiss goodbye to the long johns, the melancholy that envelopes you as the sun dips before tea time disappears, and your olfactory nerves …

CYCM 26/01/19: Two Beers Resolution
January 22, 2019 – 3:49 pm | No Comment
CYCM 26/01/19: Two Beers Resolution

A new year. A fresh opportunity. The chance to tear it all up and start again. You’re gonna start going to the gym aren’t you? Always fancied a six pack. You’re gonna be more organised …

NEW YEAR’S EVE IS SHITE! – THE STARTLING TRUTH
December 31, 2018 – 11:58 am | 2 Comments
NEW YEAR’S EVE IS SHITE! – THE STARTLING TRUTH

A new survey has revealed shocking evidence that could put an end to the world’s biggest party and make millions of revellers look completely stupid.
Professor Solomon Shellac of Manchester University has finally published the results …

Anthropocene
December 30, 2018 – 10:43 am | No Comment
Anthropocene

The Anthropocene, what is it? Where is it? And can you eat it? These burning questions lay heavy on the minds of the population. In the long tradition of this journal’s love of strange and …

CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL
December 24, 2018 – 3:36 pm | No Comment
CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL

A new study by a leading Manchester University professor and his team has proved what all Christians feared – that Christmas is shite. Dr. Solomon Shellac of UMIST made the startling discovery after researching all …

KYKM 08/12/18: Kris Kringle All The Way
December 4, 2018 – 6:19 pm | No Comment
KYKM 08/12/18: Kris Kringle All The Way

Here’s a fun game for you all: name a person more famous than Father Christmas. Go on, I’ll just nip to the kitchen, make a brew and check if that slightly pongy pack of ham …

CYCM 17/11/18: Red Bed Redemption
November 13, 2018 – 10:12 am | No Comment
CYCM 17/11/18: Red Bed Redemption

Mid-November: awkward time of the year, innit? Caught in a dark, drizzly limbo between Bonfire Night and the oncoming madness of Christmas, it’s tempting to sack it all off, get your Hygge on, and just …

In seventy seven it was Docherty, in twenty eighteen it’s the SMRE…
September 4, 2018 – 2:39 pm | No Comment
In seventy seven it was Docherty, in twenty eighteen it’s the SMRE…

Unless you’ve been holed up in a darkened room avoiding the Mancunian heat this summer it surely can’t have escaped your notice that changes have been afoot under the St Mary’s Road End terrace as …

CYCM 11/05/18: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Callow
May 7, 2018 – 5:18 pm | No Comment
CYCM 11/05/18: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Callow

CYCM returns to the function room at Broadhurst Park on the evening of Friday 11 May with something old, something new, something borrowed and … something blue.
One of our favourite turns from our Gigg …

Your song. Munich 60 years on
February 4, 2018 – 1:33 pm | No Comment
Your song. Munich 60 years on

By John Ludden
Ever since British European Flight 609 careered off the end of Munich runway and killed outright seven Manchester United footballers and many other poor souls on board, the amount of tears shed for …

Long shadow still falls on us all, 60 years on
February 1, 2018 – 11:26 am | No Comment
Long shadow still falls on us all, 60 years on

Next weekend, a crowd will gather outside Old Trafford, as it always does before the home match nearest the anniversary, to remember the 23 people who died, 60 years since that European Cup tie against Red Star Belgrade.

Frenzy
December 22, 2017 – 1:06 pm | No Comment
Frenzy

I went to Asda to buy my Christmas crap, chocolate, biscuits, Hummus and booze, a traditional Christmas feast. And also tea bags. However, I had to literally fight my way to the tea bags, ram a path to the chocolate, bludgeon my way down the biscuit isle and mount an armed assault in the bread isle.