Many speak of Ron Atkinson’s last trophy being the FA Cup he won against Everton in 1985 thanks to Norman Whiteside’s famous curler. But I seem to remember, as an eight-year-old, seeing the reds lift a trophy at Old Trafford, presented by a member of the royal family in the summer of 1986.

On Saturday, FC United of Manchester travel to Hednesford Town in the final of the Northern Premier League play-offs.

Typical of the woman who had no compassion for anyone, she died on a Monday when everyone was knackered from the weekend and she died when I was walking that tight-rope between farting and shitting myself. Even her death fucked people over.

Bernard Kelly, of ‘Gordon is a moron’ fame is set to play FC United’s pre-match event Course You Can Malcolm on Easter Monday.
Here is the story of Jilted John and Bernard’s involvement in the …

Up to 3,000 made the trip from Manchester hoping to see United become the first English club to make it through to the European Cup final and 75-year-old Alan Robertson was one of them.

“From United to FC and all destinations visited in between. I want a wall of ticket stubs representing the combined United history of our support.”

While over there on holiday last year as his lovely, Spanish speaking wife was working hard, he went ‘weird’ again and spent his time hatching BCN:MCR, which takes place from Thursday, February 21, at 2022NQ, 20-22 Dale Street, in town.

Josephine Oniyama, a favourite of FC United supporters after she graced the fans’ pre-match tertulia Course You Can Malcolm a couple of seasons back, is set to undertake her first headlining tour.

The right wing media have played a blinder with this – even those struggling on benefits themselves have been brainwashed into believing the myth of millions of scroungers enjoying lives of luxury on benefits. Which is factually and actually impossible.

My mate Liam came with me to my final ever United game – the derby when Vassell missed a penalty, which effectively handed the reds the title.
We met a blue mate of mine afterwards. Typically, …

At the club’s annual general meeting, FC United members voted overwhelmingly in favour of a resolution banning the club from paying for Sky TV or or other subscription / pay-per-view based television channels.

Cheetham Hill’s lovely Josephine Oniyama is doing alright. She performed at FC United’s Course You Can Malcolm event last season and is on Later with Jools Holland this week.

We like our sevens here at A Fine Lung and we are always annoyed, so why not combine the two to the benefit of our seven readers?

During a visit to Anfield by Manchester United following the Hillsborough tragedy, shortly after the start of the game the mancunian reds in the Anfield Road End asked their Liverpudlian counterparts en masse ‘Where’s your …

That cup final, my dad’s favourite story, would probably be the point at which my future was mapped out. Yes, my dad owed his red upbringing to my granddad, so maybe he was to blame, but had my dad not taken the plunge and binned the reds off in 1977 I may never have been born.

The creatures who inhabit these dwellings and even their dark, wet cellars, and who live confined amidst all this filth and foul air – which cannot be dissipated because of the surrounding lofty buildings – must surely have sunk to the lowest level of humanity.

“What do you eat?’ asked the young girl sat opposite me, without even a thought that this may be an odd question to ask someone who was meant to be explaining what they do for a living.

A tennis-themed joke for the start of Wimbledon? We do our best to be topical.
On an almost daily basis, you will find stories in the news that could easily be April Fools gags, were they …

A good friend of mine, who some would describe as ‘workshy’, wrote a lovely article a while ago about the importance of time. He described how time is more valuable than money…

We’ve touched on this government’s disgusting ‘work for nothing or lose your benefits’ policy in A Fine Lung before. Issue six to be precise. Here is the piece we featured…