Watch this space…monkey…
April 6, 2017 – 12:57 pm | No Comment | by:

Ahead of their Manchester Band On The Wall gig on Saturday night (April 8), website Even The Stars caught up with Space Monkeys singer, AFL friend and regular FCUM attender Richard McNevin-Duff, for a chat about them reforming, the reaction they’ve received and their plans for a new album…

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CYCM 29/05/17: Shamesborough G ‘n’ Tea by:
April 25, 2017 – 10:39 pm | No Comment

Shame is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s not something you’d purposely go out of your way to experience, but if millennia of biblical guilt has taught us anything, it’s that there’s always a need for a bit of self-admonishment. And that you should really avoid coveting thy neighbour’s donkey. As is always the case though, rules have exceptions, and the rules of shame are no different. Especially when there are plenty out there who were either born without the ability to feel shame, or those who can dismiss its annoying, grating voice as a mere irrelevance. A bit like muting the telly when Piers Morgan comes on. People such as (certain) politicians for example. Now that may seem an easy shot, and a clichéd one at that, but go out and pick up a copy of Private Eye, and you’ll soon see it’s a fair point, no matter how open a goal it is to make an example of them. Or, as the pithy terrace chant points out so succinctly, Rio Ferdinand. Or everybody’s favourite billionaire-bad boy, Phillip Green.

donkeys

The list could go on, but what it highlights is that shame isn’t necessarily a bad thing, no matter how unpleasant it makes you feel (especially if you’ve done something particularly snide, and deserve to feel a bit poopy about yourself). Nah, a bit of self-inflicted opprobrium isn’t bad, and if anything, we should go one step further and feel sorry for all those poor, unfortunate shameless people out there. Especially this Saturday at Malcolmses, as we have top post-punk band Shame playing for us, meaning if you are shameless, you’ve got nothing to shout about, unlike us. We are Shamey McShameface and we’re not ashamed to admit it (though I probably should be ashamed for doing a Boaty McBoatface reference).

As if that wasn’t enough for you- and bear in mind there’s no shame in wanting more – we’re signing off the season in style, with FC Mainhead Damian Chadwick coming to chat with us, and not one, but two special guest speakers waxing lyrical about some of the finest beverages in the known universe: tea and gin.

Tea, gin, Shame, the odd CEO thrown in for good measure: if you’re wondering how we’re going to fit so much marvellousness into three pre-match hours, then wonder no more. Just have a ganders below….

11:00 The Oddies arrive for the last time this season. Don’t let that bottom lip quiver for long though, you soft mard, there’s always next season

11:30 Moston’s title as the duct tape usage capital of Manchester is confirmed, when we put the flags up. You’d have thought by now we’d finally got the hang of putting them up properly. You’d have thought wrong

12:00 Doors open

12:15 Damian Chadwick – You’ve got the power to change, you’re indestructible, always believe in…. Sorry, got a bit carried away there. Damian’s going to be chatting about the Power to Change grant

1:30 May King Tsang: The Queen of Tea – see below

2:00 Shame – London’s finest bring their sound to Manchester

2:30 Aaron Darke: The Gin King – see below

3:00 Kick-off. And that’s us done for another season. Will it be a summer spent sipping piña coladas on a sun-drenched beach, or locked away, feverishly working on plans for next season? Probably neither. Do you honestly think we plan any of this?

Head Honcho

Of all the Damians who’ve been to Broadhurst Park, Chadwick is easily our favourite. As the CEO (that’s Chief Executive Officer, in case you were wondering) of FC, he’s been in the role nearly six months now, so clearly he’s ready to face the assorted rogues and ne’er-do-wells that make up the Malcs regulars. Amongst other things, he’ll be talking to us about the club’s recent successful Power To Change bid. And how he spent so many years without being driven mad by the Bolton accent (This last bit might not be true).

G n’ Tea

It’s probably fair to say beer is quite popular at Malcolmses. And with good reason, admittedly. However, anyone who’s anyone knows even though tea isn’t alcoholic, it’s miles better than beer, and anyone who disagrees, or says they don’t drink tea, is obviously a wrongun’. Luckily for the more right-on amongst us, we’ve got an expert on the subject, and it’s a pleasure to have her talk for us. Tea Note Speaker, published writer, performer of Chinese Gong Fu tea ceremonies; May King Tsang is an authority on all things tea. And here she is in her own words:

“My mission is to ensure everyone has a better cup of tea, and what better way than to try something new? Hello, my first name is May King and my business is MayKing Tea and I am a Tea Note Speaker. I have TEAmed up with Parched Tea Bar to provide you an exclusive Manchester Blend for you to try. Got any questions about tea? Come along and ask me! Can’t make it? Tweet me @maykingtea and I’ll share a virtual cup with you.”

Want to know your Oolong from your Lapsang Souchong? Fancy a bit of free Mancunian tea? Like tea-based puns? Then May King is the tea connoisseur for you. For more info, have yourself a little peruse of May King’s website here.

May King

So, it’s agreed: tea is ace. But you know what else is ace? Gin. Especially if that gin comes from Manchester, a place not usually famous for its production of the juniper spirit. Step forward Wythenshawe’s Aaron Darke, founder of the Zymurgorium and Manchester’s first and only craft distillery:

“I had the idea of setting it up after a long period brewing for my peers at university, I never started with kits as I prefer to make my own or forage my own like my family has taught me….. my fascination with what nature has to offer us never ceases. Who knows, I might be picking produce near you right now…..these overwhelming blandness and underwhelmingly dull experiences in our world are public enemy number one. Rebelling against the status-quo, bringing out true quality and flavour from ingredients is what drove me to start experimenting all those years ago and is what keeps us ahead now in innovation”

They also produce beer, mead and cider, but on this occasion it’s the gin Aaron’s going to be talking to us about, and if you’re lucky, he may even share some with us. Excited? You ruddy well should be. To read up on the Zymurgorium, have a look here.

Zymurgorium

The Shame Game

Rounding of this season’s musical offerings, we’re chuffed and then some to have Shame play for us. The five piece ‘aggro-punk band’ (copyright, NME) have been making waves in London, and for good reason. Rather than explain myself, here’s what Rolling Stone journalist Adam Gold had to say about them following their recent performance at SXSW:

“Nineteen-year-old singer Charlie Steen has a rage in him. You could tell that before the band hit the first note, when Steen, already fuming, started mean-mugging the crowd of 75 or so. Within 60 seconds he was on the attack, spazzing out like Ian Curtis one second and crouching down to incinerate with John Lydon-worthy death stares while spitting speak-shouted lyrics in an uber-limey cadence not unlike The Streets’ Mike Skinner. This was over a drum-tight cacophony of crashing cymbals, rumbling bass and angular guitar-dueling….”

Shame

To top it all off, they’re opinionated, political and not afraid to admit it, something sadly lacking in many acts in these bonkers political times we find ourselves in. As drummer Charlie Forbes says, the band are: “very left wing and we’re not scared to say it….”. Which goes down nicely with us. Suitably intrigued? Then get yourself down on Saturday to experience them for yourself. In the meantime, whet your appetite with their latest single.

This Saturday then. Excited? Bit sad the season’s ending? A heady blend of the two? There’s nothing left to do but set your conflicting emotions against each other for a bit of a ruckus and come and join us. We’ll see you right.

Just so you know: CYCM’s currently situated in the Main Stand bar. We’ll have two thirds of the room, but if you’ve just read all this and think it sounds bobbins, then one end of the room will be partitioned off so you can enjoy a pint in peace. Once you’re in the ground, entrance to CYCM is free, just head to the Main Stand (through the turnstiles if you come after 1), but try and get there as early as possible (come in through the main entrance and up the stairs if you arrive before the turnstiles open), as we’re anticipating it’s going to get busy. So busy in fact, we’ll have hand stamps allowing you to get in and out as you please. We don’t want you not getting back in if you’ve popped out, as that’d just be cruel. And we don’t want that.

The Lille People…
April 6, 2017 – 1:06 pm | No Comment | by:
The Lille People…

FC United are delighted to announce that we will be channelling Mancunian joi de vivre when we cross the channel to the northern French city of Lille to take part in a celebration of Manchester’s love of football, music and all things cultural on the weekend of Friday 9th to Sunday 11th June 2017.

Watch this space…monkey…
April 6, 2017 – 12:57 pm | No Comment | by:
Watch this space…monkey…

Ahead of their Manchester Band On The Wall gig on Saturday night (April 8), website Even The Stars caught up with Space Monkeys singer, AFL friend and regular FCUM attender Richard McNevin-Duff, for a chat about them reforming, the reaction they’ve received and their plans for a new album…

CYCM 25/03/17: Be Stillia, My Battling Art
March 21, 2017 – 10:33 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM 25/03/17: Be Stillia, My Battling Art

Edward Bulwer-Lytton probably thought of himself as a right old smarty pants, and not just because of the double-barrelled surname. The novelist, playwright and all round clever clogs first coined the phrase ‘The pen is …

Mikey Boy and the Time to Talk
February 23, 2017 – 9:19 am | No Comment | by:
Mikey Boy and the Time to Talk

As I sat parked up, I had flash backs to when I entered his house in the days after his death. His closest friends, inseparable from childhood, were unable to re-enter after they had been the ones to find him upstairs. Unable to believe he was dead, his best friend had attempted to hold him, screaming at him to ‘wake up’. On the wall opposite, he had written in black marker pen ‘I’M SORRY!’

Mister Mombastic something, something fantastic, someth…oh, ok… nevermind
February 21, 2017 – 8:24 am | No Comment | by:
Mister Mombastic something, something fantastic, someth…oh, ok… nevermind

By Tanya Raven
On 31st March 2017, I will be getting on a plane and heading off for one of the scariest, yet most exciting journeys of my life, to Mombasa in Kenya, to spend 4 …

The OFs – better than quinoa
February 21, 2017 – 8:19 am | No Comment | by:
The OFs – better than quinoa

The ‘baddies’ have gone and we can finally sing the chorus of Dirty Old Town and truly mean it, can’t we? Answering those questions won’t be easy, I suspect – digging in the grave of the conniving past, it seems this is all far from over and every month, the inquisitive inspecting shovel clangs onto and exhumes another devious relic buried deeper than the one before it.

The Fifth Stand
February 7, 2017 – 8:19 pm | No Comment | by:
The Fifth Stand

Really loved Saturday (yet again), not said that about our club for a very long time, but my highlight was something that happened outside the ground midway though the first half…

We’ll carry on through it all…
February 6, 2017 – 8:35 am | No Comment | by:
We’ll carry on through it all…

People being brought together through a shared love. Love of a football club, of Manchester, of music, of the NHS and of our fellow human beings regardless of which side of arbitrary borders they are born on.

A New Red
February 3, 2017 – 8:16 am | No Comment | by:
A New Red

He’ll be able to spend his Saturday afternoons with like-minded people. He will hopefully make new friends, and make memories in his teenage years that will be remembered forever. For someone who hasn’t had the best start in life, that is quite beautiful when you think about it.

Klar Könnt Ihr Malcolm Und Dietrich 04/02/17: 1993 -1994: Wing When You’re Sinning
February 1, 2017 – 8:33 pm | No Comment | by:
Klar Könnt Ihr Malcolm Und Dietrich 04/02/17: 1993 -1994: Wing When You’re Sinning

Ever since humans evolved to the stage they could feel envy, they’ve looked up at birds with a sickly-green tinge to their faces. Not only can these feathery little chaps strut around on terra firma, …

The day FC United got its mojo back
January 30, 2017 – 3:58 pm | No Comment | by:
The day FC United got its mojo back

After a turbulent few months, when all hands have been on pumps to save FC United from the financial mire the previous management and board had left it in, Saturday, January 28, was a special day.

Stop Mad Cow disease: FCUM to play SV Austria Salzburg on February 4th
January 30, 2017 – 3:56 pm | One Comment | by:
Stop Mad Cow disease: FCUM to play SV Austria Salzburg on February 4th

FC United play host to the violet and whites in a friendly match on Saturday 4th February that will also kick-off at 5pm and will aim to raise funds for both clubs with all matchday revenue being shared.

CYCM 28/01/17: 1992-1993: The Perch Knocker Offerers
January 24, 2017 – 8:43 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM 28/01/17: 1992-1993: The Perch Knocker Offerers

If you’ve ever lost a ridiculously daft amount of your life to following a football team, you should know by now that seasons normally fall into three categories:
1. Those that leave a lasting mark on …

CYCM: An electronic love letter to loveliness sent as the last leaf falls…
January 12, 2017 – 5:37 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM: An electronic love letter to loveliness sent as the last leaf falls…

There is going to be a Course You Can Malcolm before the game on the 28th of January. Actually in a ’1993/94 double winning side’ way there is going to be another one on the 4th of February too but for the purposes of this article, we’re going to concentrate on the 28th.

On Wheels
January 3, 2017 – 8:29 pm | No Comment | by:
On Wheels

It’s funny how things, items, objects, have a pre-life of odd curiosity before they become an essential commodity.

The car, for example, was, in the black and white days, a plaything for the rich. As  documented …

Red Friday – the challenges facing FC United
December 14, 2016 – 8:37 am | One Comment | by:
Red Friday – the challenges facing FC United

Any remaining sense of respect that I may have had for Andy Walsh (and admittedly that wasn’t much) evaporated… He appears to have no sense of any responsibility for the mess that the club finds itself in and, as such, I’m not sure what he has left to offer the club any more beyond self-justification and cheap point scoring.

Big-hearted club to help those in need at Christmas
December 12, 2016 – 8:29 am | No Comment | by:
Big-hearted club to help those in need at Christmas

FC United’s Broadhurst Park football ground will open on Christmas Day to help provide some Christmas comforts to the homeless in Manchester.

FCUM members back new board to right wrongs of previous regime
December 12, 2016 – 8:29 am | No Comment | by:
FCUM members back new board to right wrongs of previous regime

The board recently wrote to members to detail the difficulties faced (following mismanagement by Walsh and the ex-directors), which has resulted in the club considering an overdraft to help ease financial pressure through to the New Year.

Peterloo – a new poem
December 7, 2016 – 1:59 pm | No Comment | by:
Peterloo – a new poem

People use the collections of the lovely Working Class Movement Library for all sorts of reasons. It’s freely open for everyone to visit. A poet called Oliver Lomax went in recently to read some of …

CYCM 26/11/16: Nuneaton Mess
November 22, 2016 – 7:37 pm | One Comment | by:
CYCM 26/11/16: Nuneaton Mess

Typical, innit? You wait months for a game against Nuneaton, and then two come along at once. Like buses, except the wait from last year’s game to the previous Saturday’s was eleven months, meaning if …