A Methodist in the Madness
December 5, 2014 – 11:42 pm | No Comment | by:

One of FC United of Manchester’s Course You Can Malcolm collective has sent us the following for publication on their behalf:
‘Twenty-two is a number that found its spiritual home at Course You Can Malcolm.
Whereas bingo …

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A Methodist in the Madness by:
December 5, 2014 – 11:42 pm | No Comment

One of FC United of Manchester’s Course You Can Malcolm collective has sent us the following for publication on their behalf:

‘Twenty-two is a number that found its spiritual home at Course You Can Malcolm.

Whereas bingo callers imply a sense of inferiority by comparing it to Two Little Ducks, rather than the more appropriate Two Elegant Swans (22 – just look at the serenity and harmony of that combination), the original Oddie who came up with the potty notion of a club-night-in-the-afternoon-at-the-wrong-end-of-the-tram-tracks decreed that any acts that performed there would be clocked at twenty-two minutes. Despite the fact they all appeared without any payment, even for expenses, none of them seemed to mind.

The rationale behind twenty-two minutes was two-(times eleven) fold.

First of all it was reasoned that it was better to leave the CYCM patrons wanting more of the many excellent performances they witnessed rather than risk losing the crowd if the turn turned out to be a turn off.

Rebecca Joy Sharp, a typical CYCM turn

Rebecca Joy Sharp, a typical CYCM turn

Inevitably, during the course of the afternoon, the heartstrings would be pulled and plucked in the direction of wherever Manchester United was playing that day. This provided the second, more important, significance of the number: linking an invisible, romantic, red thread that entwined the eleven shirts about to step on to the pitch at Gigg Lane, with those representing United.

In an inspirational moment before the AGM at the Central Methodist Hall on November 26th, one of our numbers realised it was exactly twenty-two years ago that Eric Cantona signed for MUFC.

In the ensuing years since the second coming (older Reds will always remember that Denis Law was the original anointed one) we’ve experienced many highs and unimaginable lows as United fans, culminating in that dark day in May 2005.

Since the fight-back began with the formation of FC United of Manchester, there have been many reasons to be proud of our club and the support within it. However, the month preceding the AGM wasn’t one of them.

It seemed that certain individuals refused to believe that people could successfully run an event for seven years – that raised valuable funds for our club – and have no ulterior motive in putting forward a resolution that asked for a small space within the St. Mary’s Road End to continue something that all concerned were rightly proud of.

CYCM is largely made up of a self-effacing, midjmo collective that is uncomfortable in the spotlight. Actually a torch would be more appropriate, or the light on a mobile phone.

The embodiment of this was the diminutive proposer of resolution five. With trembling nerves and a heart beating faster than a Buddy Rich drum solo, I was reassured by her combination of vulnerability and composed defiance. It struck a chord with the vast majority of those in attendance, and the sustained, genuine applause left a warm, undividable glow along with a few teary eyes.

For that we would like to take this opportunity to thank you for restoring our faith in those that engage in the democratic process, as opposed to the boorish keyboard warriors who were conspicuous by their absence, or silence, on the night. The fact that you took the time to attend, listen, applaud and vote was all we could have asked for.

We take heart from the fact that 34.6% voted for the resolution despite the Board’s ‘remit’ option that attracted 42.6%. In all, that’s 77.2% of the engaged membership that wants to see a place in Broadhurst Park for Malcolmses.

FC United was established with a DIY/punk spirit and the volunteers wish to retain that. If a suitable location can be found within the ground where the passionate, creative and downright quirky ethos of CYCM is allowed to flourish, then we’ll continue to run the event that epitomises how we do things differently at this thing of ours.’

Potteries Climbdown
December 1, 2014 – 10:01 pm | No Comment | by:
Potteries Climbdown

The N40 are in town on Tuesday so there’s bound to be mayhem and carnage. With that in mind, here’s our own hooliologist Angry Bear’s dissing of Staffordshire’s most feared firm, which originally appeared in …

It’s raining goals at Highbury…
November 24, 2014 – 11:02 am | No Comment | by:

At some point towards half time I blacked out and came round to find myself in Arsenal’s first aid room. “What’s the score?” I asked one of the medics. “3-0 to you lot”. “You’re joking”. Unbelievably he wasn’t.

Good news about AFL fundraising
November 16, 2014 – 10:59 pm | No Comment | by:
Good news about AFL fundraising

We are pleased to announce that due to positive dialogue between AFL and FC United’s board, great progress has been made on this and just this past week we have come to an initial, possible agreement on what the money may be spent on.

Seven shades of red
November 11, 2014 – 10:00 pm | No Comment | by:

While passing the line of teenagers like ourselves we couldn’t but help notice that some of them were wearing black bin liners. We stood and stared. “What ya looking at?” “Why the bin liners?” “‘Cause …

Explore the past, change the future – get up close to historic activist material at the Working Class Movement Library
October 7, 2014 – 9:42 am | No Comment | by:
Explore the past, change the future – get up close to historic activist material at the Working Class Movement Library

Here’s a message for activists and campaigners from our friends at Salford’s Working Class Movement Library:
Fighting for a better world?
Wednesdays 15, 22, 29  October, 6.30-8pm
Come along and spend three evenings exploring what you’ve got in …

Standing in the shadows of the miners’ strike…
October 1, 2014 – 2:15 pm | No Comment | by:
Standing in the shadows of the miners’ strike…

The much anticipated Manchester screening of ‘Still the enemy within’, the crowd-funded film about the 1984-1985 Great Miners’ Strike, takes place this coming Monday, 6th October, at Cornerhouse.

If you know your history…
September 30, 2014 – 8:51 am | One Comment | by:
If you know your history…

A brief history of how FC United of Manchester’s first board came to be… Well worth a read for those new to the club, or those with short memories.

Kick it all out
September 29, 2014 – 8:59 am | No Comment | by:
Kick it all out

Probably no set of fans in English football flies the anti-discrimination flag better than FC United of Manchester. We’re not perfect, but we must be doing something right…

Don’t call my dog a ‘bitch’…
September 26, 2014 – 11:36 am | No Comment | by:
Don’t call my dog a ‘bitch’…

G was one of a group of us acting as the ‘RAC front desk’, a name that suggested more status than we actually had. We didn’t have desks and the only thing we were at the front of was the queue for abuse.

Football fans versus homophobia
September 23, 2014 – 8:23 am | No Comment | by:
Football fans versus homophobia

FC United fans have recently recreated a banner that is famous across Europe as part of the campaign to counter homophobia at football matches.

Our NHS
September 10, 2014 – 8:28 pm | No Comment | by:
Our NHS

A reminder from Lung contributor Jonathan Allsopp that we’re in danger of losing the NHS unless we don’t fight back:
Ellen Wilkinson is a name that’s probably unfamiliar to many outside of Manchester or the north …

Mule of Oi
August 31, 2014 – 11:04 pm | No Comment | by:
Mule of Oi

It’s come to our attention that religious extremists are conspiring to take control and run our real ale pubs, oil and oatcakes. Men have been seen, wearing great bushy beards, unkempt straggly hair, wearing strange …

Scholes slams blues for lack of support
August 29, 2014 – 8:00 am | No Comment | by:
Scholes slams blues for lack of support

Manchester United legend Paul Scholes hit out at the club’s blue rivals, for the poor atmosphere they create at European home games.

Fit and proper…
August 29, 2014 – 7:55 am | No Comment | by:
Fit and proper…

I much preferred it thirty years ago when the middle classes looked at you as some kind of social leper if you spent your Saturday afternoons on the terraces. Now we are saturated with it and everyone has to have their say…writes Andrew Rhodes

Looking after your bottom ends…
August 26, 2014 – 12:39 pm | No Comment | by:
Looking after your bottom ends…

“No one likes us, we don’t care” – I always thought that Millwall’s favourite song was better suited to Manchester United, particularly in the late ‘90s when every away game in a small provincial town …

Cartoon lions and millionaire footballers
August 25, 2014 – 10:56 pm | No Comment | by:
Cartoon lions and millionaire footballers

Has the Class of ’92 got involved `to put something back into the community’ or to ultimately make money?

Glazers thrive despite on-pitch failures
August 20, 2014 – 6:32 pm | No Comment | by:
Glazers thrive despite on-pitch failures

An excellent piece from The Guardian‘s David Conn:
Amid the reams of corporate boasting in the Glazer family’s pitch to make $200m from selling a small slice of Manchester United plc shares, a section trumpets to …

Spirit, patience, gentleness
August 16, 2014 – 8:24 am | One Comment | by:
Spirit, patience, gentleness

‘Spirit, Patience, Gentleness,
All that can adorn and bless
Art thou – let deeds, not words, express
Thine exceeding loveliness.

The Great War – myths and realities
August 4, 2014 – 11:25 am | No Comment | by:
The Great War – myths and realities

The Working Class Movement Library‘s exhibition, The Great War: myths and realities, opens on Wednesday 6 August.  It explores topics such as Salford’s response to the outbreak of war, the strength of the anti-war movement …

Future heads…
August 1, 2014 – 1:13 am | No Comment | by:
Future heads…

FC United has, since its inception, prided itself on “doing things differently”. I think we can all agree that Course You Can Malcolm is something which is very different indeed.