MCYC 29/07/16: The Oddiesey
July 24, 2016 – 8:03 pm | No Comment | by:

In Homer’s epic ‘The Odyssey’, it takes enemy of Poseidon and all round faffer Odysseus ten years to make it home after the fall of Troy. While it’s not taken the Oddies quite that long …

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MCYC 29/07/16: The Oddiesey by:
July 24, 2016 – 8:03 pm | No Comment

In Homer’s epic ‘The Odyssey’, it takes enemy of Poseidon and all round faffer Odysseus ten years to make it home after the fall of Troy. While it’s not taken the Oddies quite that long to make it home after the fall of Bury (well, the last game FC played there, anyway), by the time Friday 29th July 2016 comes around, it’ll have taken two years, three months and nine days to make it back. Or to put it another way: 831 days of trying to make it to Ithaca. I mean Moston.

Made it we have though, and while it’s probably fair to say it’s been something of a slog in the intervening years since we took all the flags down, picked up cardboard Steve Spencer and skipped out of Starkies for the last time, we’re back, and ready to look forward instead of backwards. A bit like a tortoise, just not as ponderous, and minus a dock off shell on our back.

 

Oddy

So what’s with all this MCYC malarkey then? “Why aren’t you calling it CYCM like normal, you bunch of divs?” I hear you cry. Well, it’s still CYCM, but not quite. For a start it’s pre-season, and on a Friday night to boot, which means no football afterwards. A club night in the afternoon at night, if you will. Plus, some of the Oddies from the Bury era won’t be there. They haven’t died or owt like that, they either just won’t be able to make it or have moved on. In true United fashion however, we’re using the night like a League/Milk/Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca-Cola/Worthington’s/Carling/Capital One Cup tie and blooding some of the youth, so along with the more experienced heads, we should be strong enough to see off Port Vale without the need for extra-time.

But what do you put on when you’ve got no football, a few extra hours to spare, and two years to catch up on? Just the same sort of stuff as we always do, but more of it, so read on to find out who’s going to be entertaining, educating and delighting you and your ears:

The Hummingbird Project:  High Peak People Helping Refugees

First up we have Pam from the Hummingbird Project coming to speak to us about the good work they do. You may be unfamiliar with the Hummingbird Project, so let me fill you in (in a non-fighty manner, obv). In fact, rather than me filling you in, we’ll let them fill you in themselves (again, we’re not talking fighting here, so calm down). As Pam says:

“The Hummingbird project was set up by myself  (Pamela Meade Lake) and Jo Gregory in order to raise awareness of the recent refugee crisis in Europe and beyond.  We needed to do something practical to help people in need.  We have harnessed the good will of people in the High Peak and South Manchester who help us to help refugees.
Our aim is to raise funds and collect donations to send much needed aid to refugee hot spots across Europe and Syria.  We have sent aid to Syria, Macedonia, Lesvos, Leros, Chios, and Samos and to Athens.  We support women and children in camps in Turkey and also have sent aid to Calais, Dunkirk and Paris. 
We have great links with lots of other grass roots organisations and we work together to get what is needed to where it needs to be.  Our cash donations have helped support Mums and babies breastfeeding in the camps in Macedonia, the Hellas Lifeguards, childrens activities in camps in Lesvos and to provide food for refugees Samos, and we have recently given funds to enable aid to get to Lebanon, a project we will be supporting this winter. 
We are ordinary people doing the best we can to help others.  It is an amazing adventure and a privilege to be part of so much goodwill.”

 

If you’re wondering how you can help, then wonder no more, as we’ll be collecting donations on the night. Please pay close attention however, as they’ve asked we only collect the following specific items:

  •      Brand new underwear (those who think it’s acceptable to donate second-hand gruds need not apply)
  •      Clean bras in good condition
  •      Clean socks, again in good condition

Regardless of where your opinions lie on the political spectrum, this is about human beings stuck in a situation not of their own design, so anything the great city of immigration Manchester can do to help, we surely will.

*Correction time: this preview was amended 25/07 as I’d only gone and banged on about the wrong Hummingbird Project. It turns out there’s TWO separate charities of the same name who help refugees, which confirms two things: one, I’m a dozy get for not realising, and two, it just goes to show there are a plenty of good people out there doing good things.*

Black-Lives-Matter

 

Black Lives Matter

You can’t have failed to notice there has been news story after news story of innocent black people losing their lives at the hands of police in America, especially the last few years or so. It’s 2016, yet this sort of thing still happens, and happens with alarming regularity. The Black Lives Matter Movement, which started in the US in response to all the killings, is now growing in size in the UK, where recently thousands marched in Manchester in solidarity. We’re made up that we’ll have a speaker from the movement coming to talk to us, so this is deffo something not to be missed.

selina01

Selina Todd

It’s a real coup (not the Labour party sort, the good sort) to have Selina come and speak for us. Award winning author of Young Women, Work and Family in England, 1918-50, and The People: the Rise and Fall of the Working Class, 1910-2010, Selina is also Professor of Modern History at Oxford University. If all that wasn’t enough, she also recently spoke at the Durham Miners’ Gala, where 120,000 people attended. We’re not expecting quite that many to come through the doors on Friday, but those who are there will be in for a treat.

Angry Bear

Some people say love is a language. For the Bear, aggro is the only language he understands. After spending the summer laughing at England’s showing against Russia (We’ll leave you to decide if that’s the on-pitch or off-pitch displays) he’s ready to take the Main Stand bar like he used to take the Kippax, except this time he’ll be dishing out poetic verse instead of slaps. He’s not sweet, nor is he tender, but you’ll like his poetry, and if you’re a Malcs regular, he’ll look a bit familiar…..

Hedz Jellmo

The evening’s live music is provided by Hedz Jellmo. As well as being the aforementioned Angry Bear’s favouritist band ever, they describe themselves as an Experimental Manchester based-band playing dubby Manc soul with a sting kinda stuff”. While they say that about themselves, Tim Birch of City Life describes their sound as “Sumptuous drums and bass. A bluesy-jazzy atmosphere tingles like pollen around a live’ drum kit sound. The vocal delivery slides between Georgie Fame and that codger from the Stereo MCs (who looked like Edvard Munk’s The Scream, incarnate.)……..Elsewhere, a ‘blunted’ hip-hop sound …….slowing to a trip hop finale”. You’d be simultaneously a fool and an idiot to miss out the return of live music to FC, and you’d be even more of a fool and an idiot to miss out on Hedz Jellmo. Make sure you don’t.

 

artist_image_70317

 

DJs

As if we weren’t spoiling you all enough, we’re also going to be treating you to tunes from long time Malcolms heads Pace and Andy Brennan. Ensuring it’s a proper family affair, Pace is also bringing his cousin Lee along to join in the collective spinning of the wheels of steel, so in essence we’ve got ourselves a DJ ménage à trois. Saucy? No. Musically excellent? Definitely.

We’ll also have a variety of gifts and donations that we’re going to raffle and maybe even put up as a prize in a quiz. It might be Rochdale related with them being our opponents on the Saturday, or it might just be given to the first person who agrees with me that the Aldi in Market Street is a lot bigger than the one on Great Ancoats Street. My girlfriend reckons they’re practically the same size, so if I can’t use Malcolms as a way of resolving a domestic spat, what can I use it for? Anyway…. at the time of writing we’ve also not decided if there’ll be food or not (expect an update as soon as), but obviously the bar’ll be open. The name might be slightly different, but it is still Malcolms after all…….

Of course, not everything in life can be perfect, and if there’s one blot on the night it’s this: we have to face up to the lamentable loss of Stu From The Bay’s market stall. In its 2014 heyday, it sold everything from woolie hats, to books, to fanzines and programmes. The real draw as we all know though, was Stu’s never-to-be-bettered and oft talked about plastic fanzine holders. Designed both to catch the eye at the perfect angle and to offer a practicality other plastic holders could only dream of, their ability to allow punters the chance to pick up a fanzine with consummate ease was unrivaled. There may or may not be a minute’s silence on the night, but either way we won’t forget the life changing plastic holders which are currently gathering dust in a Colwyn Bay loft. As for Stu though, the barmy bugger is actually cutting short his holiday in Cornwall to enjoy the night (seriously), so if you see him, once you’ve given him a funny look, buy him a pint for his own personal Odyssey from Truro to Moston.

The finest stall in Bury? You know it

Bay City Stallers

So that, in a rather long and wordy nutshell, is the first Malcolms of Moston. Doors open at 7:30, but please try and get down early, what with us having a busy, busy night for you. As always entrance is free, but spend freely at the bar; after all, it’s your club the money’s going to.

Malcolm Course You Can, 2016: You’d be tertulia stupid to miss it.

For further info on some of the turns, have a ganders here:

Selina Todd

The Hummingbird Project Website

The Hummingbird Project Facebook Page

Hedz Jellmo

And feel free to share this poster far and wide:

Basic CMYK

Common Sense
July 12, 2016 – 7:17 am | One Comment | by:
Common Sense

“Common sense will tell us, that the power which hath endeavoured to subdue us, is of all others, the most improper to defend us” Thomas Paine, Common Sense, 1776.
There’s been a deflating familiarity to the …

Moston hosts a miniature dystopia – rush to see this gloomy delight…
July 7, 2016 – 10:32 pm | No Comment | by:
Moston hosts a miniature dystopia – rush to see this gloomy delight…

Model villages, overhead photographs of cities, landscapes viewed from a plane – the delights of miniaturisation are well known to we control freaks. Everything well ordered and in its place, for us to be able …

Geesantista 
June 15, 2016 – 4:24 pm | No Comment | by:
Geesantista 

While I was slowly jogging around Platt Fields trying to look like I was actually running, I noticed something that I had observed before about Geese. But this time having more time on my hands due to the whole being off work thing I decided that I’d take a closer look.

Banning of FC United founder was ‘flawed’ and ‘unfair’
June 15, 2016 – 4:20 pm | No Comment | by:
Banning of FC United founder was ‘flawed’ and ‘unfair’

FC United bosses were wrong to ban the club’s founder and owe him an apology, according to an independent report into the blocking of his membership.

Mind the gap
May 28, 2016 – 4:21 pm | No Comment | by:
Mind the gap

I sensed that some of those in attendance were possibly beginning to appreciate the extent of the damage wrought by the chumocracy that has been allowed to develop as an assortment of chancers, bluffers and worming careerists have brought the club to its knees; an affront to the decent egalitarian and democratic principles on which FC United was founded.

Truth, Justice and the Football Fan’s Way
May 2, 2016 – 12:46 am | No Comment | by:
Truth, Justice and the Football Fan’s Way

Some level of justice was finally delivered last week to the victims of the Hillsborough disaster; victims that included those who lost their lives at a football match 27 years ago and those who still …

FCUM: 101 damnations
April 19, 2016 – 8:49 am | No Comment | by:
FCUM: 101 damnations

These questions are aimed at getting to the heart of the corruption of FC United’s founding principles. Most of them have been legitimately asked of FC United Board members in recent months on the club’s official forum set up for that very purpose. However, most Board members refuse to answer…

The Pamphlet: Fans call for improved democracy at FC United
April 16, 2016 – 6:50 pm | No Comment | by:
The Pamphlet: Fans call for improved democracy at FC United

To bring the issues forward for more discussion in the lead up to the general meeting on April 24th, The Pamphlet was created and distributed at Saturday’s game by a concerned group of people, including four of the original FC United of Manchester steering group plus writers from the fan publications Under the Boardwalk (the original FCUM fanzine) and A Fine Lung.

Never mind the ballots, here’s the money
April 7, 2016 – 6:34 am | No Comment | by:
Never mind the ballots, here’s the money

When it comes to Walsh’s stepping down, I’m left feeling a bit like when someone’s leaving card comes round at work and you’re not sure what to write as you used to think they were sound but recently you suspect that they might be the one nicking your milk from the fridge and there was that time when they were a right dick at the Christmas party.

FC United chiefs apologise to club’s founder for ‘mistaken impression’ of ‘threats’
April 6, 2016 – 3:18 pm | No Comment | by:
FC United chiefs apologise to club’s founder for ‘mistaken impression’ of ‘threats’

An FC United statement has been released today saying:
“Around the time of November’s AGM personnel connected to the Board and staff of FC United of Manchester inadvertently and without intent caused the mistaken impression …

A home without a family is just a house
April 5, 2016 – 12:36 pm | One Comment | by:
A home without a family is just a house

Sadly it now seems more and more likely to me that rather than serving as an inspiration for football fans who are fed up of feeling powerless in the corporate world of modern football, the legacy of this Mancunian adventure will be one of deeply disappointing yet wistfully avoidable failure.

Leighton to follow example of FC United chief
April 1, 2016 – 12:01 am | No Comment | by:
Leighton to follow example of FC United chief

Following the news that FC United bosses want to investigate their own fans for criticising the club’s hierarchy, several big names are now also considering action against football supporters.

FC United of Manchester: how the togetherness turned into disharmony
March 31, 2016 – 11:46 am | 2 Comments | by:
FC United of Manchester: how the togetherness turned into disharmony

“There is a fundamental deficit in democracy, transparency and accountability between the club and its members…”

Think about the future…
March 30, 2016 – 8:22 pm | No Comment | by:
Think about the future…

FC United’s intention is to provide United fans with the community they’ve always enjoyed, but one untainted by the commercialism and authoritarianism we currently suffer… (Red Issue, February 2005)

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part four
March 28, 2016 – 11:20 am | No Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part four

The general way this farce was left to fester and then handled by the board and general manager is, in my opinion, embarrassing, furthering the splits and divides already prevalent after our “Summer of discontent”.

The Easter Rising from Manchester and Salford
March 27, 2016 – 7:16 pm | No Comment | by:
The Easter Rising from Manchester and Salford

Manchester Volunteers’ have their stories told in a new book and website, while there are talks on the subject in Salford and Manchester and beyond over the coming month.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part three
March 27, 2016 – 11:56 am | No Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part three

If the 50p on the Benfica programme was the key to Pandora’s Box, then the board or general manager certainly didn’t take heed as the lid was about to be blown right off.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part Two
March 26, 2016 – 11:47 am | One Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part Two


That month leading up to the AGM was among the worst four weeks supporting FC, when a fair portion of co-owners were made to feel like the enemy from within.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part one
March 25, 2016 – 1:55 pm | 2 Comments | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part one

In the first of a three or four-parter (depends when we can be arsed) we are publishing a very long letter written by long-serving red Stu from the Bay, which was sent to FC United’s rulers. It was written in a genuine attempt to list all the things SFTB (and many others) believe the club have got wrong over the years, leading up to the discourse of the past nine months or so. It was done in the hope that the general manager and his board would give their collective heads a shake…

Under fire FC United boss to quit after fan unrest
March 23, 2016 – 11:04 am | No Comment | by:
Under fire FC United boss to quit after fan unrest

Amidst growing supporter unrest, FC United’s chief executive has announced he will be leaving the club after this season.
Andy Walsh, who has led the club since its inception in 2005, has come under fire from …