Banning of FC United founder was ‘flawed’ and ‘unfair’
June 15, 2016 – 4:20 pm | No Comment | by:

FC United bosses were wrong to ban the club’s founder and owe him an apology, according to an independent report into the blocking of his membership.

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Geesantista  by:
June 15, 2016 – 4:24 pm | No Comment

goose

Being off work with depression has given me the chance to do some running in our Manchester parks. Now the one thing our parks have in common is Geese, well at this time of the year anyway.

While I was slowly jogging around Platt Fields trying to look like I was actually running, I noticed something that I had observed before about Geese. But this time having more time on my hands due to the whole being off work thing I decided that I’d take a closer look.

What I saw was a gaggle of Goslings, there were probably about  20 or 30 Goslings in a tight group with three Mummy or Daddy Geese strategically placed around the Gosling gaggle. I’m no Geese preproduction expert but by my reckoning even if this Geese threesome, that were guarding the Goslings, had been at it all winter they could not have produced this many Goslings. So where were the Geese that did produce this gaggle of Goslings? Were these three Geese Goslingnappers? 

However, as I slowly approached the gaggle, to my left I saw the Geese parents nonchalantly swimming and floating about in the lake. Some of them seemed to be feeding, others sunning themselves, a few took off and flew around in a circle and came back, landed in the water, why they did this was a total mystery to me along with String Theory and multiple orgasms. Maybe they were making sure they could still fly. 

I decided that I was going to count how many baby geese there were in this Gosling nursery. I placed myself as far away from the guarding geese as I could while still having a good view of the Goslings. Knowing the ferocity of the Goose, well known by the popular myth of the farmer who keeps Geese to ward off the hordes of criminal gangs roaming the countryside, hell-bent on stealing carrots, sugar beet and other farm-related items. While we city dwellers live in comparative criminal gang-free happiness, testament to our Geese-free households. But, I have also witnessed the savagery of the Geese.

While out running – it is my main pastime – along the Rochdale Canal, I saw up in front of me a hooded youth and his Staffordshire Bull Terrier. The Staffy was angrily growling at a Goose which he must have perceived as impinging on his turf. The hooded youth, stood arms folded, watched the scene unfold as I did.

The dog ran at the Goose, mouth open with murderous intent, fangs ready to bite down on the poor helpless bird. The Staffy leaped full force at the Goose, its brutishness ready to claim yet another victory. However the Goose, unruffled, stepped to one side as the dog flew past him or her. The Staffordshire turned his jaw towards the long neck of the Goose, biting down with lightning speed only to crunch on air, as the Goose manipulated its neck out of danger. At the same time the Goose swung its beak around and bit down hard on the Staffordshire’s ear. The dog went limp, dropped to the floor like a bag of spuds and lay on its back yelping.

The triumphant Goose stood on the now-defeated dog and continued to eat its ear. The hooded youth ran over to rescue his dog, swinging a slow-motion kick that I assume was due to copious amounts of skunk. I may be stereotyping here but he stunk of skunk. He could have been in the same room as a skunk-smoking friend, trying his hardest to convince them to cease their skunky ways, but however he came to be moving at a pace akin to a sloth, he was moving that way.

His kick was easily avoided by the Goose but in avoiding the kick he stepped off the dog allowing the hooded youth to grab his pet and attempt to run off. But the Goose was not letting go of his meal. I am sure Geese don’t often get the chance to eat a dog and this Goose wasn’t about to give up easily. There ensured a tug of war between Goose and man. The hooded youth shouted at the Goose to “fucking let go you bitch”.  At which point the Goose did let go, obviously not wanting to play tug of war with someone who uses profanities.

So, I made sure I stood well away from the Geese guarding the Gosling horde. I wanted to count them. I stood before the gaggle, arms across my chest with my best stern look which said, get into groups of five so I can count you more easily. But you know what?, not one Gosling paid me any attention. That is why my estimation of the size of the Gosling gang is a little rough. But a sizeable nursery of Goslings were being minded by three Geese while the parents of these Goslings were out playing in the lake, or eating, or flying around or floating on the water in a very blasé manner. Then it struck me that these Geese have free child care.

Maybe they take turns at the guarding of the unruly Goslings, I have no idea. But it is obvious that the parents of the Goslings do not have to pay for the child care. It is done because it is needed. How strange that Geese can run a society based on need not profit, but we find it so difficult to even comprehend such a society. Unless these were just the ‘Geese before Profit’ collective.

Banning of FC United founder was ‘flawed’ and ‘unfair’
June 15, 2016 – 4:20 pm | No Comment | by:
Banning of FC United founder was ‘flawed’ and ‘unfair’

FC United bosses were wrong to ban the club’s founder and owe him an apology, according to an independent report into the blocking of his membership.

Mind the gap
May 28, 2016 – 4:21 pm | No Comment | by:
Mind the gap

I sensed that some of those in attendance were possibly beginning to appreciate the extent of the damage wrought by the chumocracy that has been allowed to develop as an assortment of chancers, bluffers and worming careerists have brought the club to its knees; an affront to the decent egalitarian and democratic principles on which FC United was founded.

Truth, Justice and the Football Fan’s Way
May 2, 2016 – 12:46 am | No Comment | by:
Truth, Justice and the Football Fan’s Way

Some level of justice was finally delivered last week to the victims of the Hillsborough disaster; victims that included those who lost their lives at a football match 27 years ago and those who still …

FCUM: 101 damnations
April 19, 2016 – 8:49 am | No Comment | by:
FCUM: 101 damnations

These questions are aimed at getting to the heart of the corruption of FC United’s founding principles. Most of them have been legitimately asked of FC United Board members in recent months on the club’s official forum set up for that very purpose. However, most Board members refuse to answer…

The Pamphlet: Fans call for improved democracy at FC United
April 16, 2016 – 6:50 pm | No Comment | by:
The Pamphlet: Fans call for improved democracy at FC United

To bring the issues forward for more discussion in the lead up to the general meeting on April 24th, The Pamphlet was created and distributed at Saturday’s game by a concerned group of people, including four of the original FC United of Manchester steering group plus writers from the fan publications Under the Boardwalk (the original FCUM fanzine) and A Fine Lung.

Never mind the ballots, here’s the money
April 7, 2016 – 6:34 am | No Comment | by:
Never mind the ballots, here’s the money

When it comes to Walsh’s stepping down, I’m left feeling a bit like when someone’s leaving card comes round at work and you’re not sure what to write as you used to think they were sound but recently you suspect that they might be the one nicking your milk from the fridge and there was that time when they were a right dick at the Christmas party.

FC United chiefs apologise to club’s founder for ‘mistaken impression’ of ‘threats’
April 6, 2016 – 3:18 pm | No Comment | by:
FC United chiefs apologise to club’s founder for ‘mistaken impression’ of ‘threats’

An FC United statement has been released today saying:
“Around the time of November’s AGM personnel connected to the Board and staff of FC United of Manchester inadvertently and without intent caused the mistaken impression …

A home without a family is just a house
April 5, 2016 – 12:36 pm | One Comment | by:
A home without a family is just a house

Sadly it now seems more and more likely to me that rather than serving as an inspiration for football fans who are fed up of feeling powerless in the corporate world of modern football, the legacy of this Mancunian adventure will be one of deeply disappointing yet wistfully avoidable failure.

Leighton to follow example of FC United chief
April 1, 2016 – 12:01 am | No Comment | by:
Leighton to follow example of FC United chief

Following the news that FC United bosses want to investigate their own fans for criticising the club’s hierarchy, several big names are now also considering action against football supporters.

FC United of Manchester: how the togetherness turned into disharmony
March 31, 2016 – 11:46 am | 2 Comments | by:
FC United of Manchester: how the togetherness turned into disharmony

“There is a fundamental deficit in democracy, transparency and accountability between the club and its members…”

Think about the future…
March 30, 2016 – 8:22 pm | No Comment | by:
Think about the future…

FC United’s intention is to provide United fans with the community they’ve always enjoyed, but one untainted by the commercialism and authoritarianism we currently suffer… (Red Issue, February 2005)

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part four
March 28, 2016 – 11:20 am | No Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part four

The general way this farce was left to fester and then handled by the board and general manager is, in my opinion, embarrassing, furthering the splits and divides already prevalent after our “Summer of discontent”.

The Easter Rising from Manchester and Salford
March 27, 2016 – 7:16 pm | No Comment | by:
The Easter Rising from Manchester and Salford

Manchester Volunteers’ have their stories told in a new book and website, while there are talks on the subject in Salford and Manchester and beyond over the coming month.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part three
March 27, 2016 – 11:56 am | No Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part three

If the 50p on the Benfica programme was the key to Pandora’s Box, then the board or general manager certainly didn’t take heed as the lid was about to be blown right off.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part Two
March 26, 2016 – 11:47 am | One Comment | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part Two


That month leading up to the AGM was among the worst four weeks supporting FC, when a fair portion of co-owners were made to feel like the enemy from within.

There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part one
March 25, 2016 – 1:55 pm | 2 Comments | by:
There comes a time when silence is betrayal: Part one

In the first of a three or four-parter (depends when we can be arsed) we are publishing a very long letter written by long-serving red Stu from the Bay, which was sent to FC United’s rulers. It was written in a genuine attempt to list all the things SFTB (and many others) believe the club have got wrong over the years, leading up to the discourse of the past nine months or so. It was done in the hope that the general manager and his board would give their collective heads a shake…

Under fire FC United boss to quit after fan unrest
March 23, 2016 – 11:04 am | No Comment | by:
Under fire FC United boss to quit after fan unrest

Amidst growing supporter unrest, FC United’s chief executive has announced he will be leaving the club after this season.
Andy Walsh, who has led the club since its inception in 2005, has come under fire from …

Bath-time at FC United…
March 18, 2016 – 8:30 am | 2 Comments | by:
Bath-time at FC United…

Jonathan Allsopp on the latest shameful episode at FC United, as the general manager and some board members plan to investigate the club’s owners (aka fans) for criticising the club…

The grass isn’t always greener
January 7, 2016 – 11:31 pm | No Comment | by:
The grass isn’t always greener

From the ever excellent Two Hundred Per Cent:
Recently, the redoubtable website A Fine Lung posted a lengthy article about the ongoing situation at FC United of Manchester which may have come as something of a …

Quo Vadis FC?
December 24, 2015 – 3:53 pm | One Comment | by:
Quo Vadis FC?

Many are realising FC United is not all it’s cracked up to be. But what can be done about it?