On the 12th year of Christmas my non-blue love said to me….
November 20, 2018 – 3:13 pm | No Comment | by:

Twelve years after the publication of the first, and still to this day, best of all FC United-related books, An Undividable Glow, we recently received this review from a reader:
‘A brilliant book and a must …

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KYKM 08/12/18: Kris Kringle All The Way by:
December 4, 2018 – 6:19 pm | No Comment

Here’s a fun game for you all: name a person more famous than Father Christmas. Go on, I’ll just nip to the kitchen, make a brew and check if that slightly pongy pack of ham that’s two days past its use by date is alright to eat while I wait…. What’s that, you say? The Queen? David Beckham? Liberace? Oh, please. This is a man that transcends borders, cultures and languages, is revered by kids world-wide, and employed by parents as a tool of 20181204_145603their cruel oppression to keep their children in check, telling them ‘he’s always watching’. It doesn’t matter how old you are or which country happens to issue your passport; his big-bearded, ruddy-cheeked appeal is ubiquitous. It’s safe to say it’s proper lemon squeezy to see why he’s the most famous person on the planet (save for Roy Cropper, perhaps).

Known as Babbo Natale in Italy, Joulupukki in Finland, Swiety Mikolaj in Poland, and probably something like Red Nosed Flying Gift Man in Japan, he goes by many different names. Of all his Yuletide monikers though, this Saturday, we’re going to plump for calling him Kris Kringle. And why, exactly? Well, we’re not only putting a festive CYCM on, but we’re celebrating by welcoming indie band The K’s to round off the day’s events for us, meaning we’re blending our Christmas and letter K themes with a link so tenuous, Bands FC would be proud. Though we’ve not invited Kris Kristofferson, and we never will (he knows why).

And here it is: the rundown of the festive day of fun we have in store for you:

11:00 The Oddies Arrive: Up early like kids on Christmas morning, eager to see if they got Buckaroo or whatever the most popular toy is these days, the Oddies are just too giddy to remain in bed, rushing down to Moston to set the stage up

12:00 Doors Open: Just like the last day of your advent Calendar, they’re double doors, where opening them will lead you to a sweet treat (the sweet treat being Malcolms, obv)

12:45 Christmas Giftathon: It’s Christmas, so overcome with the spirit of giving, we’re spilling the contents of our sack for a few lucky punters

1:00 Geneviève Walsh: Described as both a punk poet and a goth poet, whatever label you want to put on her, she’s ace

2:20 The K’s: Indie music from one of the North-west’s finest up and coming bands

3:00 The 90 Minute Ball Kicking Game: Soccerball! Kick! Touch-down!

Geneviève Walsh

Genevieve WalshAfter paying a visit to the last Malcolms purely in a viewing capacity, it’s a pleasure to welcome back poet Geneviève, this time as a performer. Hailing from Yorkshire, she’s been described as a ‘…word weaving whirlwind’, and ‘a natural performer who will tease out your inner weirdo’. She can also add compere and tutor to her CV (that’s a résumé to any Americans reading), and we’re looking forward to her showcasing her plethora of talents in the form of her socially aware poetry this Saturday. She’s also no stranger to CYCM, thanks to hosting spoken word night Spoken Weird alongside FC fan and mate of Malcolms, John Darwin.

To find out more about Geneviève, you can have a peruse of her website here.

The K’s

What better way to introduce our band for Saturday by quoting them in their own words? As The K’s say: ‘Forming in Earlestown in 2017 and growing up together in the shadows of two huge North West neighbours, ManchesterThe K's and Liverpool, The K’s are proving that things can in fact actually grow in the dark’. Comprising of Jamie Boyle on vocals and guitar, Dexter Baker on bass, Ryan Breslin on guitar and Jordan Holden on drums, the lads have been building up a loyal following, thanks in the main to their high energy, indie rock tunes. And if their excellent debut single Sarajevo is anything to go by, it’s going to be a raucous end to the afternoon when they take to the stage. To learn more about the band, search for their page on Facebook, and have a ganders on that there YouTube for their aforementioned single.

On top of all this festive goodness, there’ll also be a selection of foods from the meaty end to the vegan end of the scran spectrum, all the booze your heart could desire, but sadly, with our resident librarian away on her international travels, the homemade sweet treats are going to have to wait until the next Malcs. Don’t fret too much though, as the wait’ll just make them taste all the sweeter next time round (and that’s a perceived sense of increased sweetness, by the way. We’re not saying there’ll be a tooth-killing amount of sucrose added).

So, come, forget about going on your work’s do with Christmas jumper-clad divs, or fighting your way through a rammoed high street, and enjoy yourselves in the company of like-minded, music-loving Reds, instead. It’s Christmas as it should be celebrated: with music, love and laughter, and not a single member of the royal family waffling on in sight. Go on, you know you deserve it.

(Also, a big thanks to Space Monkey Rich for all the help he’s given us getting bands on this year, it’s been much appreciated by all the Oddies)

Just so you know: if you come looking for us in the St. Mary’s Road End, then, well, you’re in the right place, because that’s our permanent gaff, now. Just head to the turnstiles and make your way about two-thirds down the SMRE. You can’t really miss us as we have a big, dock off stage for a start, plus a flag with a massive caravan drawn on it. And as always: entrance to CYCM is completely freemans, with the usual rules applying: no divviness, nuclear weapons or anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to put butter in coffee. Because apparently that’s a thing, now. Refugees welcome.

On the 12th year of Christmas my non-blue love said to me….
November 20, 2018 – 3:13 pm | No Comment | by:
On the 12th year of Christmas my non-blue love said to me….

Twelve years after the publication of the first, and still to this day, best of all FC United-related books, An Undividable Glow, we recently received this review from a reader:
‘A brilliant book and a must …

CYCM 17/11/18: Red Bed Redemption
November 13, 2018 – 10:12 am | No Comment | by:
CYCM 17/11/18: Red Bed Redemption

Mid-November: awkward time of the year, innit? Caught in a dark, drizzly limbo between Bonfire Night and the oncoming madness of Christmas, it’s tempting to sack it all off, get your Hygge on, and just …

CYCM 13/10/18: The Darlington Buds of Malcs
October 10, 2018 – 4:12 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM 13/10/18: The Darlington Buds of Malcs

Eggs. Wind. News. Arsenal’s unbeaten record in 2004. All things that are, we think you’ll agree, much better when they are broken. And what with us being a breakaway football club we tend to have …

In seventy seven it was Docherty, in twenty eighteen it’s the SMRE…
September 4, 2018 – 2:39 pm | No Comment | by:
In seventy seven it was Docherty, in twenty eighteen it’s the SMRE…

Unless you’ve been holed up in a darkened room avoiding the Mancunian heat this summer it surely can’t have escaped your notice that changes have been afoot under the St Mary’s Road End terrace as …

Making friends, not millionaires
August 17, 2018 – 7:49 pm | No Comment | by:
Making friends, not millionaires

A piece from a recent edition of FC United of Manchester’s matchday programme on the club’s work in developing participation in sporting and other activities in the local community during 2017-18…
Some supporters may be unaware …

Slow Readers, ace musicians (yes we have used a very similar headline before, so what?)
May 10, 2018 – 12:18 pm | No Comment | by:
Slow Readers, ace musicians (yes we have used a very similar headline before, so what?)

The Slow Readers Club have this week released their third album and are finally getting a bit of ‘attention’ from people other than music fans in Manchester.
Course You Can Malcolm, the club night in the …

CYCM 11/05/18: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Callow
May 7, 2018 – 5:18 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM 11/05/18: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Callow

CYCM returns to the function room at Broadhurst Park on the evening of Friday 11 May with something old, something new, something borrowed and … something blue.
One of our favourite turns from our Gigg …

Munich, Jimmy Murphy and the Suez Crisis
February 6, 2018 – 1:10 am | No Comment | by:
Munich, Jimmy Murphy and the Suez Crisis

On arrival at the ground Murphy thought briefly how quiet the place seemed compared to normal and headed to his office. It was only when there that the dreadful news was relayed to him by Alma George, his secretary.

Your song. Munich 60 years on
February 4, 2018 – 1:33 pm | No Comment | by:
Your song. Munich 60 years on

By John Ludden
Ever since British European Flight 609 careered off the end of Munich runway and killed outright seven Manchester United footballers and many other poor souls on board, the amount of tears shed for …

Long shadow still falls on us all, 60 years on
February 1, 2018 – 11:26 am | No Comment | by:
Long shadow still falls on us all, 60 years on

Next weekend, a crowd will gather outside Old Trafford, as it always does before the home match nearest the anniversary, to remember the 23 people who died, 60 years since that European Cup tie against Red Star Belgrade.

City’s owners: Sheikhs, lies and videotapes
January 11, 2018 – 7:51 pm | No Comment | by:
City’s owners: Sheikhs, lies and videotapes

Now that Manchester City look to be on the brink of an era of domination, at least in England, it’s perhaps time to take another look at who is really behind this project and why.

NEW YEAR’S EVE IS SHITE! – THE STARTLING TRUTH
December 31, 2017 – 10:18 pm | 2 Comments | by:
NEW YEAR’S EVE IS SHITE! – THE STARTLING TRUTH

A new survey has revealed shocking evidence that could put an end to the world’s biggest party and make millions of revellers look completely stupid.
Professor Solomon Shellac of Manchester University has finally published the results …

CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL
December 25, 2017 – 6:00 am | No Comment | by:
CHRISTMAS IS SHITE – IT’S OFFICIAL

A new study by a leading Manchester University professor and his team has proved what all Christians feared – that Christmas is shite. Dr. Solomon Shellac of UMIST made the startling discovery after researching all …

Frenzy
December 22, 2017 – 1:06 pm | No Comment | by:
Frenzy

I went to Asda to buy my Christmas crap, chocolate, biscuits, Hummus and booze, a traditional Christmas feast. And also tea bags. However, I had to literally fight my way to the tea bags, ram a path to the chocolate, bludgeon my way down the biscuit isle and mount an armed assault in the bread isle.

Survey reveals that Christmas is shite
December 16, 2017 – 7:11 am | No Comment | by:
Survey reveals that Christmas is shite

A new study by a leading Manchester University professor and his team has proved what all Christians feared – that Christmas is shite. Dr. Solomon Shellac of UMIST made the startling discovery after researching all …

Older reds swap derby memories
December 11, 2017 – 8:06 pm | No Comment | by:
Older reds swap derby memories

From the Daily Telegraph:
Derek Gardner remembers the 1955 Manchester derby like it was yesterday. Or, rather, he remembers the build-up to the game.
“I was out on the town and ended up in a club in …

A time for giving, and that…
December 7, 2017 – 10:21 pm | No Comment | by:
A time for giving, and that…

From The Non League Paper:

The season of goodwill is here and FC United of Manchester are getting in on the act once again as they get set to open the doors at Broadhurst Park to …

Red Rebels – an excerpt
December 7, 2017 – 6:03 pm | No Comment | by:
Red Rebels – an excerpt

FC United founder and former AFL contributor JP O’Neill has written a book about Manchester’s battles with the Glazers and the subsequent football club that rose amongst the flames. And then imploded somewhat. Red Rebels …

Kenny Ball and his J*zzmen
December 5, 2017 – 5:55 pm | No Comment | by:
Kenny Ball and his J*zzmen

It’s a well established political fact that Kenny Ball, from Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen, despises Nigel Winterburn with an intensity rarely seen in the jazz world. Both modern and acid. Knowing this, I contacted …

CYCM 02/12/17: He’s Here, He’s There, Bring Your Thermal Underwear
November 28, 2017 – 10:36 pm | No Comment | by:
CYCM 02/12/17: He’s Here, He’s There, Bring Your Thermal Underwear

If you’ve dedicated your life to eleven ball-chasing men, chances are you’ll know it gets a bit taters watching them in the autumn and winter months. Not quite Jose Mourinho leaving Bastian Schweinsteiger off his …